tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59489262024-03-07T05:57:37.132-08:00Everyday LunaseaThe random ramblings of a mother on too much caffeineLunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.comBlogger962125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-28899747358014516952020-10-04T19:34:00.004-07:002020-10-04T19:34:53.455-07:00T+ A Day and a HalfI did expect it to be hard. It seems so momentous - from here on out, he doesn't live here full-time. Just 3 days ago, he did. <div><br /></div><div> What I wasn't prepared for was the onslaught of memories. B. just asked me to cut his hair, so I instantly thought of 2 days ago when A. "let" me cut his hair before he left and got teary. Is everything going to be measured in "before he left" and "after he left?" </div><div><br /></div><div> We're in Halloween season, which is my favorite time of year, so there are lots of memories of pumpkin patches and hay mazes, costume searches. Geez, how long ago was it that he saw that ladybug costume in Babies R Us and decided that's what he wanted to be? </div><div><br /></div><div> I think what hurts the most is the things I'd hoped to do that we never got to. Every year I wanted to take them strawberry picking, or apple picking, and it never happened. </div><div><br /></div><div>I know it's cliche to say that it went by so fast, and I know there were times when it was so slow going.
There's the nostalgia for long ago, and there's the pain of what I miss now. </div><div><br /></div><div>He spent a lot of time in his room for the last couple of years, but at least I knew he was in there. I miss him playing his video games on the TV. I miss knowing he'd turn out the lights since he was usually the last one up. I miss him emptying the dishwasher, and slamming doors when he didn't realize how loud he was being because he had his headphones on. I miss the squeaking of the trampoline. God, I really miss him. </div><div><br /></div><div>There are a few things I tell myself that help me hang on - </div><div><br /></div><div>He is where he should be, where he wants to be. He was so ready to go. </div><div><br /></div><div>We are still connected. He still needs us.
He'll be back in a few months. Then he'll be gone again, for longer, but everyone tells me it gets easier. He can't come home for weekends, but that's OK. </div><div><br /></div><div>What a good job we've done, that he can follow his dreams to London. He's so adventurous, so brave.</div><div><br /></div><div>He used to tell me I was his favorite person. It's been a long time since that's been true, which is OK. For a while, I was, and that's what I wanted. I wanted to raise my children knowing without any doubt that they were loved. He and his brother still know that. </div><div><br /></div><div>We are still a family, it's just going to look different. As it should. </div><div><br /></div>Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-10578861306183645252020-10-03T10:52:00.003-07:002020-10-03T10:52:41.866-07:00Adventures in Student Visa-ingGetting A. to the UK was a roller coaster. <div><br /></div><div>First was the realization, early in the summer, that we wouldn't be able to go with him to get him settled in. All the move-in stuff I'd been planning, taking him to buy kitchen stuff, bedding, hanging things in the room, meeting the suitemates, etc. Not going to happen - we would just be dropping him off at the airport, making sure he had enough money for a taxi ride to his dorm. We wouldn't even get to see where his room was. <div><br /></div><div>OK, I'd made peace with that. Next, his university had to issue a very important number - his CAS (Certification of Admission to Study, I think) number. He needed that number to get a student visa. The visa office says you can't apply for a visa more than 2 months before you intend to arrive. So there's this push as soon as the 2-month mark hits to apply - but you can't apply without the CAS number, and it takes the admissions office a while to issue it. </div><div><br /></div><div>So we waited and we waited. Admissions office is all, "We're going as fast as we can, leave us alone." </div><div><br /></div><div>Finally the super special number was received. A. immediately applied for the student visa, and we paid all the fees. We had to pay the visa fee, of course, but we also have to pay the NHS fee, since he'll be on their health system. while over there. Fine, please take care of him if he gets sick or hurt. </div><div><br /></div><div>During the application process, you have to pick a place where you'll get you "biometrics" taken - basically fingerprints, signature and a photo. Because we live outside SF, we chose the office in SF. First mistake. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now we waited for the office to contact us with an appointment. But they never did. We saw on the website that the office was closed due to the pandemic, so A. emailed them and asked if he could switch the biometric choice to Seattle. Seattle, 2 states away. They wrote back and asked for some contact information, which A sent along, and then went silent. Nothing. </div><div><br /></div><div>I had bought flights for "move-in" day, which was looming closer and closer. American Airlines cancelled the flights. I rebooked flights on British Airways. </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, King's College London wrote and said that they would like all students who have to quarantine for 14 days upon arrival (definitely all US students) to arrive by September 6th, so they'll be done with the quarantine by the time classes starts. </div><div><br /></div><div>King's College is also offering alternate move-in dates because apparently lots of students around the world are having trouble getting visas and travel is weird right now, so they tell us we can move in Oct 31, or January 8th, as well. A. really, really wants to get there. </div><div><br /></div><div>OK, I wasn't super thrilled that he'll have to leave 2 weeks early, and I was now going to have to switch the flight and probably pay a bunch more money for it, but it might happen anyway because we couldn't get the biometrics done. Correction: We couldn't get <i>an appointment</i> to get the biometrics done. </div><div><br /></div><div>G. and A. actually drove into SF to the address we had for the visa processing office. They found one person working there, who told them, "the UK isn't allowing us to process student visas right now." </div><div><br /></div><div>Um, what? We hadn't heard anything about them not processing student visas, and King's was certainly acting like he could still come. </div><div><br /></div><div>So we made several phone calls to the UK visa advice line, who knew nothing about this ban, and we decided that the only course of action was to go to Seattle, where the office was open and taking appointments.</div><div><br /></div><div>But, you can't just switch to another office. You have to cancel your first visa application, and start a new one, which made all of us anxious. But it seemed to be the only way, so A. did it, we paid all the fees again, and chose the Seattle office. We knew he wasn't going to make it by Sept 6th, but maybe he could make it by move-in day again?</div><div><br /></div><div>A. and I flew to Seattle 2 days later, took an Uber to the Seattle office, got some sushi before our appt time, took 10 minutes to get his fingerprints and photo taken, and then took a uber back to the airport and flew back to Oakland. We had to leave his passport there, with the assurances they'd send it back.</div><div><br /></div><div>A week later, we had his visa. Yay! Flights were confirmed and it looked like he'd actually make it to the London student housing on move-in day!</div><div><br /></div><div>Two days before his scheduled departure, we had a family Zoom goodbye, we'd planned for his "last meal" and he started texting me weird questions, like "how much did the plane ticket cost?" and "is it refundable?" </div><div><br /></div><div>He came out of his room, and said "I think we need to cancel my flight on Friday." I told him not to joke about that, and he pointed to his visa, which, sure enough, had October 3rd as its valid date. </div><div><br /></div><div>So he'd be with us 2 more weeks. The next day, both G and I were exhausted. It felt like we kept preparing ourselves, and then boom, not happening. I was able to reschedule the flight for October 2nd (he'd arrive on October 3rd) with no fee. He'd been worried that we'd lose the money for the flight, so he was relieved. </div><div><br /></div><div>As October 2nd approached, I think we were all holding our breath. What could happen? Earthquake? Small earthquakes were being recorded nearby, so that was a possibility. The COVID numbers were going up both in England and the US - would England close its borders? Also a possibility. </div><div><br /></div><div>But yesterday we drove to SF, got his luggage checked in, and said goodbye. He texted us when he landed, at 6am. He sent us a photo of his dorm when he got there. It's a tiny room, a small space to live in without leaving for 14 days. </div><div><br /></div><div>They'll give him food for 3 days, and then he's on his own. He'll have to order from nearby restaurants because he can't use the communal kitchen until the quarantine is over. </div><div><br /></div><div>My baby boy now lives in London.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-58407376104790473182020-03-16T22:59:00.000-07:002020-03-16T22:59:24.918-07:00Well, hello there!<br />
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It's been a minute, eh?<br />
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A. is now 17 years old, believe it or not. He's a senior in high school, has applied to something like 17 universities and so far has been admitted to all of them. He's also gotten some amazing scholarships and aid. But he wants to go to the one place that's not going to give him any aid....England. He was admitted to King's College in London and that's where he wants to go. It's fine, really, it's fine that he's turning down all this money.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="312" src="https://giphy.com/embed/l22ysLe54hZP0wubek" width="480"></iframe><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/moodman-mood-l22ysLe54hZP0wubek">via GIPHY</a><br />
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Anyway, now we're wondering if he's even going to go because of this COVID-19 pandemic. Both boys are in virtual classrooms, and prom is probably cancelled, maybe even graduation. I feel badly for him, but on the other hand, he can tell his grandchildren, "Yes, I lived through the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic. It was awful...I had to eat my sandwiches on wheat bread because my mom couldn't find white bread anywhere. I decided I hated wheat bread around the age of 15, after eating it all my life. Then I had to eat it again, so you can imagine what that did to my sense of individuating self."<br />
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Ben, remember him? The super-moody baby turned into the sweetest kid you can imagine. He's also a total heartbreaker with his blue eyes and long eyelashes, although he doesn't see it. He is now a freshman in high school.<br />
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So this pandemic, huh? Today at work, it started out that we were to work as normal, see in person any student who wanted to be seen in person, and hold all our groups as normal. (I work at a counseling center at a state university - the same place I worked in 2004, in fact, when I was writing this blog. Great job, great staff, great students). Then the shelter-in-place order came out at 1pm, and we were all wondering if that would change anything. By 5pm, the word finally came down and we are now working remotely.<br />
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Just last weekend, we were celebrating Ben's birthday at Rock City on Mt. Diablo, his favorite place on earth, and we went out for pizza afterwards. It was very crowded, especially the bar part. We had the boys wash their hands really well, but otherwise didn't think of it much. A week later we weren't even getting take-out anymore. I went to Costco just the last Saturday, used hand sanitizer but otherwise didn't think of it much, and by the next day I was nervous going to the grocery store. It's crazy how fast things are going.<br />
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Tonight I'm relieved that I'll be able to work from home, but I wonder how long that will last. How long until I want to choke my family? I predict 5 hours in, I will want to go for a drive by myself just to get some time.<br />
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<br />Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-86589879419511303122011-12-09T14:14:00.000-08:002011-12-09T14:14:05.734-08:00Year in Review: 2011Happy Holidays! Boy, the years just fly by, don't they? We feel like we've been very busy but we have little to report.<br />
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We're still in Our City, still in the house we said we'd live in for 5 years before moving. We're heading into our 12th year here, so you can see how that prediction panned out.<br />
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Ben earned his yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do, and then promptly quit.<br />
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A. graduated Montessori and switched to a new school, St. J's. Unfortunately, he says he doesn't like it much and wishes he were back at Montessori, so, you know, that's fun. We're all still waiting for a growth spurt, too.<br />
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Both A. and Ben started Boy Scouts, and while the activities are fun, the uniforms cost an arm and a leg and the badges are ridiculously hard to sew on.<br />
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Lunasea is still in private practice, and hates insurance companies more than ever. Her goal in 2012 is to not have to deal with them anymore. She also is not crazy about sewing Scouting badges and is actively sabotaging her sons' efforts to earn more badges for her to sew onto the shirts.<br />
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G. is still at Kaiser and in private practice. He was hit by an appliance truck and totaled the car. We're still driving it, though, because it turns out the driver was the appliance guy's uninsured nephew. Oops!<br />
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The unfinished wood around the doorways of our house are still unfinished. After 3 years, we (read: Greg) finally chose a stain color only to find it had been discontinued. Isn't that always the way?<br />
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A. is trying out CYO basketball, and his team finally won a game. We couldn't say that at all last year with soccer, so things are looking up.<br />
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Dear friends died and we miss them, so that sucked.<br />
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So.....how was your year?Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-48475252038910085462011-03-18T16:13:00.000-07:002011-03-18T16:13:12.590-07:00A. Takes a StandA. has come out firmly against tiger extinction, in a letter to National Geographic.<br />
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Dear National Giograpic,<br />
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We should keep lions and other big cats alive because they want to live a big life. Think about it, if we were a big cat we wouldn't want to die (and of course not go extinct). We want to live a good happy life. Big cats going extinct would make a big difrence. Many contry in southern asia and Africa would have to change state animal and zoos would lose a lot of anamals. Little kids would get relly sad, if there was no more "King of the Jungle." It would be a big loss if the big cats when to ecstinction.<br />
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Sincerely, A.<br />
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Please, let the countries keep their national symbols. Save the big cats.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-72849845582639879882011-01-01T11:27:00.000-08:002011-01-01T11:27:10.531-08:00Another Auld Lang SyneI've written before about how much I love New Year's. I'm in the self-improvement business, after all, and although I realize there's nothing magical about January 1st that instantly makes all goals attainable, it's a pretty handy marker for starting something.<br />
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Every year my resolutions are similar - they focus around health, organization and finance (like 98% of the population). I don't see this as a failure. These areas are my cutting edges - they are what I will always be working on, and that's fine. Every year gets a bit better. This year I implemented a new bookkeeping system in my practice, which helped track payments A LOT. Next year will be even better as I moved my accounting online.<br />
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I've recently been reading about brain plasticity and am really interested in how it applies to positive psychology. I've been really interested in cognitive work on resilience, and how some clients manage to pull themselves past enormous roadblocks and trauma, and why other clients see their lives as a tragedy and have such a hard time motivating themselves to change, even though they express the desire to do so. After 20 years of doing therapy, the actual traumas and stresses the two types experience don't seem that qualitatively different, and I don't think the first group is just in denial. I think the growing field of research into positive psychology is fascinating, and I want to learn more about the practical application of these ideas. <br />
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Last year I ran a 5K. This year, depending on how my joints hold out, I will run a 10K. I will also eat less and move more. I'm going to start a binder of healthy, vegetable-heavy recipes since I need vegetables disguised if I'm going to eat more of them.<br />
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Last year I learned many ways to cut back on grocery costs. I'll keep that up, and started a separate savings account at ING Direct to save money each month so I'm not struggling at Christmas. This year we sold one of our cars right after Thanksgiving and that saved this Christmas, along with the bevy of frugal shopping sites out there that saved me tremendous amounts of money by alerting me to sales I wouldn't have found otherwise...but I'm not going to be caught wondering how not to go into debt next Christmas. I don't think we'll have another spare car to sell, so....I need to make sure I have enough cash set aside. <br />
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And, hey, here it is 11:11 on 1/1/11. Happy New Year!Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-62118934439616542452010-12-09T22:56:00.000-08:002010-12-09T22:56:30.530-08:00The Kind of Superhero I Want to BeI had fantasies of being a Superhero today. Mostly because some chick started yelling inexplicably at me at a gas station, other people left carts in the middle of the aisle at Target, and then I stepped in dog poop on the grass at the library.<br />
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So if I were a Superhero, I guess I'd have to fly, because I'd want to swoop in and correct all those little stupid annoying things we do to each other. I'd swoop into the gas station and make sure everyone was calm, took turns and waited in line. I'd have people say, "No, you were here first, go ahead - here, let me move out of the way for you."<br />
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I'd (gently) teach people how to move their carts to the side of the aisle when they stop to look at something. I'd jump in front of their carts before they barreled around corners and say, "Now, don't you want to check first to make sure someone isn't coming and the coast is clear?"<br />
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And I'd definitely swoop in and hand people plastic (biodegradable, of course) bags to pick up their dog's poop. "I know you want to pick up your dog's crap, don't you? Here, let me give you this to use."<br />
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I'd stop people on sidewalks and firmly suggest they pick up the fast food bags they just threw in the gutter.<br />
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I'd show up in people's cars (guess I'd have to add transporting to my list of powers) and say, "Now, you want to use your turn signal right about now, don't you?"<br />
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Oh, and an important one - I'd prowl parking lots and discuss bad parking with people as they got out of their cars. "Now, I'm sure you don't realize this, but your car is over the line on the other side. That's going to make it awfully hard for the people in that car to get in, don't you think? How 'bout you just jump back inside and repark within the lines?"<br />
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I'd arrive when people are talking loudly on their cell phones in inappropriate places and either bodily transport them outside, or hold up my power shield and cut off their signal. <br />
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Any I'm forgetting?Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-27864886964249014982010-11-14T14:02:00.000-08:002010-11-14T20:10:44.502-08:00Could We All Just Stop Pretending We Know About Major Depression if We Don't?Once a month G. or I have to go to a parents' meeting at the Catholic Church.<br />
<br />
So this year they had a parishioner lead the first class of the year, and then asked him to do it permanently. He's a nice guy, a dad, and he tries to bring in real-life examples of his kids and family and trying to be good Christians. He reads the day's Bible passage aloud, then tells us what he thinks it means. There's not really any discussion, we just listen to this guy and his train of thought on the message for an hour, then if we're lucky there are doughnuts and coffee in the hall. <br />
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Last week (I forgot what the point of the lesson was about - I think it was "we should all pray" again), he said, "You know, sometimes people feel bad and they just start taking these antidepressants, and those mess with your emotions, when what I do, is I just go over there," pointing to the church, "and pray and look for answers there." <br />
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Aw, crap. It's the famous "if you were stronger/more faithful/less of a pansy you wouldn't need anti-depressants" argument. We've all heard it. I've gotten into arguments with family members over it. People (who usually aren't in the field) begin spouting all this stuff about how meds mess up your mind: They make you foggy, screw up your emotions, change your personality. It's all a big conspiracy by the pharmaceutical companies. By the way, why don't I hear ever hear this argument about manufacturers of pain relievers or chemotherapy drugs? It's always the companies making anti-depressants (or ADHD drugs) who are especially evil and want everyone medicated and sedated in their quest for world domination.<br />
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When I've unwillingly found myself in this argument with someone who's usually talking out of their ass, I've resorted to, "You're an engineer (or whatever), right? And I'm a psychologist. Which one of us do you think knows more about psychotropic medication, hmmm? And just so you know, I've never received as much as a Post-It notepad from any pharmaceutical company, so just don't even go there." <br />
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So that morning, I looked around at the people in the room at this parent's meeting, and wondered who who took antidepressants that morning. I know I did, and I would bet money there were at least two other people in the room who were taking them as well. I wondered if they registered what the leader had said or if it just floated past them, like so many comments that float around us all the time about depression and mental illness. <br />
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I had a young man in my office recently who told me, "No offense, but I think this psychology stuff is bullshit." Really, Dude-With-1-Semester-of-Community-College -Psychology-Under-Your-Belt? (aside: Does anyone else get told the entire field of study of their Ph.D. is bullshit? Just curious, not bitter...not bitter at all. I mean, it's not like my dissertation was on Area 51). So this guy's mother was seriously depressed and he was convinced that it was because she was just weak. He gets depressed, sometimes, sure, but he pulls himself out of it. He was getting annoyed with her and believed she just needed to "move on." <br />
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Here was a kid who thought he knew everything at 20, which I understand. So I gently educated him about depression and anti-depressants and he listened. He finally agreed that it might help more if he was supportive of his mother and stopped telling her to snap out of it. He did agree that telling her to snap out of it hadn't worked thus far. I was relieved, because that's really all I was asking of him. <br />
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So my question now is, do I say something to the leader of this parent's class, or not? I think I have to. I think I have a duty to confront the stigma. I'm not an activist, and there are very brave souls who are really working to change the stigma of seeking help for mental health reasons, but that's not where my energy has gone. But I wish I'd said something that day. Honestly, I'm so used to these views being thrown around that I didn't even really register that I could say something until I'd already left to pick up the boys. <br />
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I don't care at all what he thinks about my taking meds, because I'm sooo over caring what people think about my being on anti-depressants, but I know for a fact that there are many poor souls who have suffered for years before finally realizing they could indeed feel a whole lot better on anti-depressants. Many of these people have told me they wished they'd tried meds years earlier and then have to grieve the loss of all that time lost to depression. And those people shouldn't have to feel that here's another person, in a position of authority, although I doubt he looks at it that way, who also thinks they should have been able to do it on their own. I have no problem with this guy having that opinion in private, but if he's in front of a roomful of parents he doesn't really know, perhaps he should learn to keep it to himself. I'm guessing it didn't even occur to him. We all have to think before we speak.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-84353842122020677512010-11-10T22:29:00.000-08:002010-11-10T22:34:35.738-08:00Amazon, Don't Make Me Boycott You Right Before ChristmasSo there was this maelstrom on Twitter today that was picked up by <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/11/10/amazon.pedophile.guide/?hpt=T2">media and bloggers everywhere</a>. Someone found a self-published book, "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure," being sold as an e-book on Amazon.com, and raised a ruckus. For some, the fact that it was available on the site at all led them to call for a boycott of Amazon. (update: the book's page on Amazon is now a 404 message; not clear if it's just down or if they're really removing it from stock). <br />
<br />
So Amazon responded, in part, with: “Amazon believes it is censorship not to sell certain books simply because we or others believe their message is objectionable. Amazon does not support or promote hatred or criminal acts, however, we do support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions.”<br />
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OK...except that it's not censorship for an outlet to refuse to sell an offensive book, just like it's not censorship when sponsors pull out of Dr. Laura's radio show. No one's coming to arrest this guy, or Amazon, for selling a despicable manuscript. No one's saying he doesn't have the right to be, well, despicable. (For a more in-depth look on why this isn't censorship or book-banning, see <a href="http://backpackingdad.com/2010/11/censorship-storefronts-and-publishing-the-amazonfail/">Backpacking Dad</a>. Actually, see Backpacking Dad for all your logical rhetoric.) <br />
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Today I've been watching the back-and-forth between <a href="http://www.avitable.com/2010/11/11/about-pedophilia-and-censorship/">bloggers</a> on this <a href="http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2010/11/11/amazon-boycott/">issue</a>. <br />
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We as a society have a responsibility to protect our children. I also think we do a lousy job of it. Maybe I'm overly sensitive to it since my profession involves trying to heal abused children, but actually, I think most of y'all are in denial about how prevalent physical, emotional and sexual child abuse is. <br />
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Here we have a how-to manual on how to victimize a child, and how to get away with it. This is not a gray area. This is not a treatise on how incest and child brides have historical relevance and should therefore be considered normal. I'm sorry, but this is not an idea that deserves to be protected. And, as Backpacking Dad also points out, for the slippery slope argument to work, you have to prove that the slope is slippery, not that it's there. <br />
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Wringing your hands and asking, "But where does it end? Are we going to ban the Bible too because some people find it offensive?" is as ridiculous as wondering if gay marriage will lead to people marrying animals. <br />
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I am not in favor of banning books or restricting free speech, and on the whole I respect booksellers who try to offer as wide a selection as possible. If Amazon really believed in that, they'd sell porn. But I also believe there is a greater principle here, and that protecting children from anyone who'd buy a how-to manual on child molestation is more important than worrying about the rights of Philip R. Greaves II to sell it.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-18551805990493559452010-10-24T14:10:00.000-07:002010-10-24T21:38:26.800-07:00Dia De Los MuertosI've always wanted to make an altar for Dia de Los Muertos, or the Day of the Dead. I'm not sure how I knew for sure, since late summer, that this year would be the year I would make one in our home. I think it has to do with turning 45 next week and having the time clock ticking louder in my subconscious than ever before.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I took the boys to a fabulous Day of the Dead celebration in our hometown so they would understand where it comes from and its significance. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfh955L34u4QzEm0dgzJxU7_r8coszxbJQ_L10WA9Jnn_Igk1BQ5YxLjB3NpDJqouvcuSDg076739U8mhKzTM8mGsRpJ0OkJkf-Tfi8E1Ux7QYzhtyIBndg3z3vwps49cs-5wh/s320/IMG_1253.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can you find the 5-year-old?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL3fGBBBHMmDQv85-RHAaH8eFWYJcu-tcNTLuUYbBfGzV12ztwIWynxkENAsUR-V6iPpQkKJJ11aWvxRYLJLcAiMIFX8BHvoE-OQz7PhaOUdMWF3WeewkA0BkjD_lWpmn3WDb2/s320/IMG_1235.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="240" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outdoor altar at Meek Mansion Day of the Dead Community Celebration</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There they boys made the skeleton masks that are now at the back of our altar at home, and Benjamin decorated the little sugar skull at another booth. We got some colorful fabric, cut out the flags, and made tissue paper flowers. I bought a Lady of Guadalupe (one of my favorite icons) candle at our local Mexican grocery store, and then it was time to add photos and symbols. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgln_r0AtHndlLW76dzTKvpzXmdRLyj-y78g5GqJ881o7TTVmNj93Rtv6ICvG46gAYWwwH_r4wBv1_eOah7uYiC1Em2y7RH6sAK8w2nvHUA1llVLWb0TfzudMbqkf8Bjo-CjPLa/s1600/photo(3).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgln_r0AtHndlLW76dzTKvpzXmdRLyj-y78g5GqJ881o7TTVmNj93Rtv6ICvG46gAYWwwH_r4wBv1_eOah7uYiC1Em2y7RH6sAK8w2nvHUA1llVLWb0TfzudMbqkf8Bjo-CjPLa/s320/photo(3).JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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The framed picture near the top is my mother. The two photos below that are of G. and A. meeting Grandma Gagnon for the first time. Grandma lived to 101 years, and when I met her, she was 93, healthy as a horse and walking 3 miles a day. The pic to the right is our friend Ralf, one of G's groomsmen who passed away suddenly a few years ago. There are more pictures, more people to add as I find and print them.<br />
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One of the most poignant things on the altar, to me, is the pregnancy test on the top to the left. I'm grieving the loss of my dream of having a third baby. It's not unexpected - as I said, I'll be 45 next week. But I always thought I'd have three kids. I always thought I'd have a daughter. Someone who claims to know such things told G. a few years ago that there was a "red-headed female" soul waiting to join our family. I'm sad that she either lost her way, or that I didn't hold the door open long enough for her to join us.<br />
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So, our family is now complete, and it's good. I am beyond lucky to have two such glorious boys. A friend offered me the book, "The Wisdom of Menopause" but I'm not ready for it yet. I have to still say goodbye to the ignorance, and other trappings, of youth.<br />
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And, as a bonus, here's Benjamin explaining Day of the Dead for you, complete with 5-year-old close-up. Then he goes on to the weather, which is why I stop recording. If you knew him, you'd thank me.<br />
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<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UD_vq9LL8p8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UD_vq9LL8p8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-77420655567023933842010-10-10T21:56:00.000-07:002010-10-10T21:56:09.628-07:00PSAI need to warn those of you who view my blog on readers....I'm going way back through my archives and tagging my posts so I can eventually sort the posts and put them in a book. Not a Random House kinda book, a homemade book, much like the ones A. writes. The boys are constantly asking for stories of when they "were young." So if I make a book out the posts and give it to them, I don't have to talk to them anymore. <br />
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So, yeah. I'm going to be showing a whole lot more recently published posts and they'll be from 2003. Sorry.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-274033834051697232010-10-09T20:49:00.000-07:002010-10-10T13:48:42.376-07:00Fun DadOne thing I'll say for G., he's great at playful improvising. A. even says, "Mom, you're not as playful as Dad." Hey, I'll play, as long as the rules are all set out and I know them and we have all the right equipment. But G. just makes stuff up as he goes along. <br />
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Benjamin has been bugging me to play some game called "Blind Man's Rummy." I have no idea what he's talking about and considering I can't even remember the rules to Hearts, I decline and suggest War or Go Fish or something else my feeble brain can handle. Turns out, Blind Man Rummy is a game G. invented with rules designed specifically so Benjamin wins. They have to find matches in their hands, G. deals out extra cards randomly, and when Benjamin runs out of cards, he wins. Perfect for the easily frustrated 5-year-old.<br />
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He also invented "Sock Fights." He took the worn out socks I was going to throw away along with some unmatched socks, balled them up, stuck them in a plastic bag and wrote "Sock Fight" on the outside. On rainy days when they can't go outside, he and the boys work off extra energy by hurling the socks at each other. They're pretty good at picking them up afterward, although I often find balled up socks behind furniture and just stick them back in the bag.<br />
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Once, when we were visiting my sister and the boys (along with my nephew) needed some distraction, he threw a wooden board on the grass and told them to "Walk the plank!" That, along with some pirate talk, kept them busy for quite a while.<br />
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Another game is "Chute," where he stands on the couch, holds up a sleeping bag, and the boys take turns going climbing on the couch and heading down the "chute" to the floor. He piles pillows between the couch and the floor, so no one gets hurt. Mama doesn't do Chute because her arms get too tired.<br />
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Mama also doesn't do "Carpet Ride," because she says she's not strong enough. "Carpet Ride" is when the boys, one at a time now that they're bigger, sit on a huge blanket and G. pulls them around house. Now that we've traded the carpet for hardwood floors, it's a lot easier. <br />
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He's also made up this character, "Pinnaman Pete." He's great at making up stories about Pete and his mountainous, gold-mining ways. When we were driving to Bend, he made up all these stories about Pinnaman Pete and 5-Fingered Jack. I don't where he gets this stuff. I'm supposed to be the writer but he's got a great imagination. Trying to keep up with Pinnaman Pete stories makes my brain tired. <br />
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For the last couple days, we've been a bit misplaced because our floors are being redone. We can't walk on them for about 4 days. So we're all living in the family room, kitchen and master bedroom, which we enter through the window. Tonight G. is doing a backyard camp-out (BTW, my spell check wants to replace that with "cam pout." WTH?) with the boys. Sadly, it's a 2-person tent, or 1-person and 2-kids, so I'm missing the fun and sleeping in my own bed. Poor me. But Fun Dad is out there with the boys, making memories they'll have forever.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNSrKiuZfc83zq8Zvp5DDoa_R9nz6i6UPy-syLhvzL0X2vX0tXVN33XEPojVzXRSaj4GvR01AZ3XJ6tOkebtG8EVAPMS1r1vhAyRuesqI3hTEQzaYfCqkYm1hh_s43RcNXdwOy/s1600/cropIMG_7327.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNSrKiuZfc83zq8Zvp5DDoa_R9nz6i6UPy-syLhvzL0X2vX0tXVN33XEPojVzXRSaj4GvR01AZ3XJ6tOkebtG8EVAPMS1r1vhAyRuesqI3hTEQzaYfCqkYm1hh_s43RcNXdwOy/s320/cropIMG_7327.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-38606329946039994012010-10-07T20:53:00.000-07:002010-10-07T20:53:02.736-07:00More Home Improvement AdventuresRemember when my purse was stolen 2 weeks ago? So today the mailman comes by with a "postage due" envelope. I had no idea what it was - it was from the "Atlanta Recovery Center" in GA. So I told him to hold on a sec, I had to get my wallet.<br />
Then I did what I'm sure everyone has to do at some point...walked out the sliding glass doors of the family room into the courtyard, and up onto the wooden bench and through our bedroom window into the master bedroom. <br />
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"Oh!" said the mailman.<br />
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"Yeah, we can't walk on the floors," I said, gesturing to the open front door and the very strong smell of polyurethane wafting from within. <br />
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"Ah! You are having them refinished?" I nodded, gratefully. Thanks for understanding, mailman.<br />
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This floor refinishing could mean the end of unstained doors covered with plastic, doorways taped up with painter's tape, and napkins wrapped around doorknobs to keep them from banging into other walls or doors. I'm not sure, since this is what we've lived with for the last 2 years, but I'm hopeful. G. is our home-improvement captain, and he says the floors need to be redone before we can do anything else woodenish. So we might actually see the dining room door soon. Right now it's taped up with cardboard and painter's tape, although it's been installed for a year and half.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-37183574288981642972010-09-24T14:05:00.000-07:002010-09-24T14:05:12.417-07:00MindfulnessWent back to see the shrink this morning. I'd actually set the appointment up a few weeks ago when it was clear that I felt pissed off about something but couldn't really put my finger on it. That's SO 20 years ago.<br />
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And then I went to visit my Dad in AZ, which was easy in the sense that he demands pretty much nothing, and hard in the sense that he demands and offers nothing. It's sad to see him so slowed down and kind of absent.<br />
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And then I came back and went back to work the same day, worked a long day the following day, worked the day after that and in my short break between work and picking up the boys, during which I'd scheduled some exercise, my car window was busted and everything I need was stolen. Damnit, I hadn't even caught up on the laundry yet. <br />
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So. I had a lot to talk about to the shrink. I'm still kind of reeling from the stolen purse thing. I keep thinking of more things that I need to take care of. I did the big ones immediately - stopped the credit cards and changed my bank account number. Now I keep thinking of other stuff -<br />
<ul><li>where's my inhaler? Oh, yeah, it was in my purse. </li>
<li>That water bottle I loved? In my purse (it was a big purse). I mean, c'mon thieving-thieves, you couldn't have thrown the water bottle off and grabbed my wallet? </li>
<li>My glasses - where did I stash my prescription and an extra $300 to buy a new pair? </li>
<li>My favorite lip balm - which is out of stock in all the stores I've checked (Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer in Watermelon, BTW). </li>
<li>The Target receipt for the USB cord that I bought in AZ and was the wrong size, but decided I could return here since I <i>had the receipt.</i></li>
<li>All of my reward cards. </li>
<li>My Starbucks card which fortunately had $0.00 on it. I have a happy fantasy of the robbers trying to use it and not being able to pay for their latte. Suckahs!</li>
<li> My little bottle of Aleve. Boy, do I miss that. I've replaced it, but I can't seem to get the new bottle into my new purse where it would be helpful. </li>
<li>My new tweezers. Damnit, I buy tweezers like, twice a decade, and these were new. </li>
<li>My little mirror that I love because it's little but it's perfect.</li>
<li>My boys' sherrif's badges from The Jungle, which they don't need but what if they were their favorite things in the world? Huh? What then?</li>
<li>My keys. Now the office has to be re-keyed and my office mates have to all get new deadbolt keys. </li>
</ul>Now, people not very far from me have lost their entire homes and in some sad cases, family members in a <a href="http://articles.sfgate.com/2010-09-10/news/23996646_1_gas-line-explosion-wind-whipped-blaze-smoke-inhalation">horrible disaster</a>. So I can't really complain too much. It an annoying hassle but it's not the end of the world. I've lost my wallet before, but it was always my fault - usually I carelessly left it somewhere. This was more of a violation - I'd locked it in the trunk, so they had to break the window, scattering glass (which, by the way, is called safety glass but can still cut you when you try to brush it off the seat) all over the car and the street. The glass place did a fairly good job of vacuuming it up but I'm still finding shards everywhere.<br />
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The thieves tried to use my credit cards almost immediately. C'mon, the $160 I just got paid in cash and was going to pay for the next two weeks' groceries wasn't enough for you? <br />
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So. Where was I? Oh yeah. So when I made the appointment I was already kind of in a bad mood. Then all this stuff happened and you know what I wanted to do first? Eat. The second thing I wanted to do? Shop. My two old go-to's for stress.They're both big symptoms of unconsciousness (for me). <br />
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So I think this is a wake-up call. I need to spend more time being mindful and present with myself and with my family. I want to push it all away and go unconscious so it won't overwhelm me, but of course that's not the answer. I used to spend a lot of time writing and meditating, before kids, and I just don't have that kind of time now. I'm having all these dreams of tidal waves and explosions, and clearly there's something there to pay attention to.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-18981408230311523032010-09-23T10:36:00.001-07:002010-09-23T10:38:04.209-07:00What I Returned to After My Stress-Relieving Run<div class="mobile-photo"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif6lYEJlemW4DvhYN_74cV1HddPX0W8Y8DBZTkb0wHDHvuYBJXtTy1PTa6MH61j6ShiyCfV0FbvaJtTIpVq70C_4MDaGDUF0qmf_6e3hh_6NOeOlwWyP0Jl_TXyBJOhAP_bed7/s1600/IMG_1173-711882.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5520164324358294450" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif6lYEJlemW4DvhYN_74cV1HddPX0W8Y8DBZTkb0wHDHvuYBJXtTy1PTa6MH61j6ShiyCfV0FbvaJtTIpVq70C_4MDaGDUF0qmf_6e3hh_6NOeOlwWyP0Jl_TXyBJOhAP_bed7/s320/IMG_1173-711882.JPG" /></a></div>Stress. They popped the trunk and took my purse. I'd had the great idea to run without my glasses, so they were in there too with my checkbook, my water bottle, my inhaler, the cash my client just paid me, all the receipts I need for stuff I plan to return, and of course, my keys and wallet. G had to come get me because I'm blind as a bat without my glasses. Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-5687662149055850512010-09-13T22:29:00.000-07:002010-09-13T22:29:45.807-07:00Birthday Celebrations Used to Be EasierI keep forgetting I've added Tuesday mornings to my work schedule. I keep thinking I have the morning free, after dropping off the boys to school, to grocery shop and exercise. I laughed at myself this morning while driving to work, realizing I was planning tomorrow morning's run during the time that I had three clients. (You can't run while you're seeing clients. It's distracting).<br />
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I wondered if I'd accidentally planned anything else during my Tuesday morning at work. Oops. As a matter of fact, I did, I realized with horror. I planned to have A's school birthday party at noon on Tuesday, thinking I was off work on Tuesday, but unfortunately, I'd also scheduled clients from 10am -1pm. Crap.<br />
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A's birthday was last Monday, which was Labor Day, but another kid was having their birthday on Tuesday, I remembered that I work on Wednesday, so I originally scheduled it for Thursday. But, wait, Thursday is California Admissions Day and they have all sorts of festivities planned! So Friday it is (was). But then A. got sick on Thursday, had a fever, and we thought perhaps we should reschedule it for Tuesday of the next week - tomorrow in case he was still sick on Friday. Follow all that?<br />
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So I found myself calling the teacher as soon as I arrived at the office today and asking if it would be terrible if I had the pizza delivered. She admitted no parent had ever tried that before (don't any of these other parents have jobs?) but she was willing to go with it. I called the pizza place, asked if they could assure me that they would get delivered right at noon, and after some confusion, after me saying, "Never mind," and after the lady doing everything possible, including a 15% discount to make sure I didn't hang up, we settled the details. I don't trust them at all, though, and will call again tomorrow. The school is 2 blocks from them, but it's on the grounds of a Lutheran church which confused the hell out of the clerk.<br />
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"Is it a church or is it a school?" Well, it's both and you don't really need to understand, you need to show up and ask for "Mary Ann, the teacher," or "the third grade," and you will be shown to the right place. <br />
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A. said he didn't mind at all, in fact, he breathed a sigh of relief. He had informed me in no uncertain terms that parents deliver pizza and juice boxes and then IMMEDIATELY leave. No singing, no pictures, no acknowledgment that we know him at all. So he thought having a delivery guy was perfect.<br />
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I hate work/family conflicts. They don't happen all that often, fortunately, but when they do I always feel guilty and torn. But when I cancel a client, that's at least $60 less income that month. Every hour counts.<br />
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In other news: I'm getting ready for a short trip to Arizona (I'm also reminding myself I can't pack tomorrow morning - I have clients!). What do you do with a 5-yr-old in Phoenix when it's 103 degrees out? We can only swim so much.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-13737091235305290992010-09-12T21:20:00.000-07:002010-09-12T21:20:34.694-07:00Water, Losing Weight and Reeling Them InClearly, I'm not meant to post every day. But I'm posting more and slowly crawling up out of my blogging grave, so that's good.<br />
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On Wednesday, I begin a new weight-loss challenge. I lost 10 lbs. on my last challenge, sort of a virtual "Biggest Loser" contest. This is similar, but it's a Survivor-styled challenge. There are over 20 tribes and each tribe has to vote someone to "Exile Island" each week, and the tribe with the lowest percentage weight loss also gets sent to Exile Island. With over 20 tribes, this could take a while. I'd like to lose about 20 lbs, which isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but the benefit of having less than 50 to lose is that only 1 lb is still a sizable percentage. <br />
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Went to a b-day party today where the theme was "fishing," and one of the events was that a kid would wear a vest hooked to a fishing line. Someone else would stand on the side of the pool with a fishing pole and "reel" them in while they tried to swim to the opposite side. A. took both fish and fisher positions, and all the kids had fun. I love games like that - not a lot of money, not a lot of fancy equipment or jumpy houses.<br />
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Also went to my first UU water communion. We had to leave early because it's a long service (and we had to get A. to the soccer field at 11:45 or they'd take team photos without him). Anyway, in the service, everyone brings (literally or symbolically) some water from their summer. The four directions are named in verse and story, and you line up after whichever direction your water fits, either literally or symbolically, and add your water to the communal bowl while explaining where the water came from and what it represented to you. We were going to go with the "West" crowd since the water was from our home and we live on the west coast, but we ended up going with the "South" crowd because we needed to leave. <br />
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Having never been to one of these before, I didn't know that we really each talked into a microphone about our water. It was easy, though, because our water from our home, to me, symbolized my memories of the boys spending hours playing with the hose in the yard, and my continued quest for simplicity. G. pulled out a very nice exposition on water as representing the bonds of family formed during our summer. I really wish he'd consider doing a sermon one summer (when the minister usually takes time off and the congregation fill in with lay sermons). He's a very good speaker. I'm not horrible, but I get nervous and my voice shakes and my mind goes blank and I'd just rather avoid that.<br />
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Whew - how many unrelated topics can you fit into one blog post? At least three!Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-35156758962315509762010-09-09T14:20:00.000-07:002010-09-09T14:20:32.818-07:00I'm building a website for DH and trying without much success to get an Amazon widget on there. I'm going to try the HTML here just to see if it works here. <br />
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<SCRIPT charset="utf-8" type="text/javascript" src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&MarketPlace=US&ID=V20070822/US/grgamf-20/8001/2a320c75-ada7-48d4-9584-cefa716ba516"> </SCRIPT> <NOSCRIPT><A HREF="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&MarketPlace=US&ID=V20070822%2FUS%2Fgrgamf-20%2F8001%2F2a320c75-ada7-48d4-9584-cefa716ba516&Operation=NoScript">Amazon.com Widgets</A></NOSCRIPT><br />
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<OBJECT classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/get/flashplayer/current/swflash.cab" id="Player_af3ffb00-03e7-4156-98ef-745e503e4f84" WIDTH="600px" HEIGHT="200px"> <PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&MarketPlace=US&ID=V20070822%2FUS%2Fgrgamf-20%2F8010%2Faf3ffb00-03e7-4156-98ef-745e503e4f84&Operation=GetDisplayTemplate"><PARAM NAME="quality" VALUE="high"><PARAM NAME="bgcolor" VALUE="#FFFFFF"><PARAM NAME="allowscriptaccess" VALUE="always"><embed src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&MarketPlace=US&ID=V20070822%2FUS%2Fgrgamf-20%2F8010%2Faf3ffb00-03e7-4156-98ef-745e503e4f84&Operation=GetDisplayTemplate" id="Player_af3ffb00-03e7-4156-98ef-745e503e4f84" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" name="Player_af3ffb00-03e7-4156-98ef-745e503e4f84" allowscriptaccess="always" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" align="middle" height="200px" width="600px"></embed></OBJECT> <NOSCRIPT><A HREF="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&MarketPlace=US&ID=V20070822%2FUS%2Fgrgamf-20%2F8010%2Faf3ffb00-03e7-4156-98ef-745e503e4f84&Operation=NoScript">Amazon.com Widgets</A></NOSCRIPT><br />
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Yep, looks like the code works. Now I just have to figure out what Intuit SiteBuilder has against Amazon. <br />
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And in other news, I've been re-reading past blog posts. There are A LOT since I've been blogging since 2003. You know, I used to be pretty funny. And my kids were hilarious. They're still pretty funny, but somehow the funny has drained out of my brain lately. I think I need to get away from composing facebook status updates and back to composing blog posts.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-38588479685903795032010-09-08T21:54:00.000-07:002010-09-08T21:54:38.921-07:00DryDry, dry, dry. That's how I feel. I probably shouldn't wait until I'm half asleep to write these, but when else am I going to do it?<br />
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Worked on G's website today. We both have professional websites, which I can't bring myself to pay anyone to build. It's not easy, this website designing thing. I have a whole new respect for people who imagine and then create new designs. I can barely use a template. But I do, and we're not designers or advertising our artistic ability for anyone, so the websites do the job and give people information on our services and how to contact us. They're not ugly...just kinda boring.<br />
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Finally read the winter issue of "Brain, Child" I've been carrying around with me for months. Man, was it depressing. The first essay I read was from a woman whose third baby was very "high-needs." He'd cry for 12 hours straight, and rarely slept more than an hour at a time. Sure made me feel better about my decision to not try for a third. Ben wasn't that difficult, but he was clingier and needier and more difficult than A., for sure, and it was hard. He still can be. He's also just the sweetest little guy you'll ever meet, and smiles all the time, so we certainly get something back from him. <br />
<br />
The second essay was by a woman who has been shut out by her teenagers. I am in denial that that will happen to me with my boys who run at me when I get home from work shouting, "Come to me first! Come to me first!" But I'm sure it will. I will hate it, and I hope I learn to cope with it so I'm not too miserable. It will be a learning experience, that's for sure.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-40539876612619844192010-09-07T20:34:00.000-07:002010-09-08T14:21:43.867-07:00Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?*It's funny how when my day is going badly, I am suddenly surrounded by horrible douchebag drivers.<br />
<br />
Had a good run after walking the boys to school, until about 4 blocks before home when I got what are euphemistically referred to as the "runner's trots." Let's just say I had to throw away a perfectly good pair of running shorts.<br />
<br />
Then a client gave me the heave-ho with a flimsy excuse, when what they really meant was, "You're not telling me what I want to hear." I was annoyed because I'd spent all weekend thinking about this case and where to go and how to help.<br />
<br />
That's pretty much it. But since it all happened before 10 am, it wasn't an auspicious start to the day. <br />
<br />
<br />
In other news:<br />
<br />
1. We finally received our Wii, and just had enough time to set it up before bedtime. The boys designed their Miis, but both A. and I were a bit disappointed in the lack of redhead options.<br />
<br />
2. A's birthday dinner: Fried chicken, Stouffer's mac and cheese and garlic bread. I added salad just to break up the monochrome menu a bit. I think he liked it. We told him the story of the day he was born, (actually more like the week he was born since it took that long to coax him out.<br />
<br />
3. We told his favorite story from when he was a toddler, originally <a href="http://lunasea237.blogspot.com/2004/10/rackin-frackin-monday.html">blogged</a> here. I'm going to cut and paste the paragraphs, though, because the post is long and I spend most of the time complaining about a lousy day (whoa! deja vu!)<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Anyway, he has a couple of tricks when we say "no" to the TV or videos. First, he tries bringing us the remote and instead of asking to watch TV, he'll tell us to "push green circle," like we just need to be directed on HOW to turn the TV on, or maybe we don't realize that pushing the green circle will result in the TV being turned on and by the time we realize it, it will be too late and we'll be drawn into Elmo's World. <br />
<br />
Second, he goes through the list of shows he likes, just in case it's the show we're objecting to and not the TV. "Little People? Farm Animals? Thomas? Teletubbies? Sesame Street? Stanley? Clifford Big Dog? Dragon Tales? Wiggles? JoJos Circus?" We keep saying, "No, no TV right now." So he was <i>very</i> unhappy about it all this morning. Finally he handed me the remote again, and said in a very plaintive voice, "John Kerry?" <br />
<br />
Poor guy was so desperate to watch TV he was offering to watch the cable news channels that G watches. </blockquote><br />
He was a really funny toddler. Now he's a pretty amusing big kid. <br />
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4. We were at A's soccer practice, at a local middle school, where I saw this silhouette on the wall: <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibXJSl_1PyyyzRolk1dzPZt8Hs2wYcGyWSNAGP4JqcomMGEV0lEYQbKoFG-y-MQ0rJNQ3yMffjxsCJJ3StudeFNN6u6MsMF3vGYFGGQaRBTQmoDxPcjMFxitAENoFZmCzB45F0/s1600/silhouette.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibXJSl_1PyyyzRolk1dzPZt8Hs2wYcGyWSNAGP4JqcomMGEV0lEYQbKoFG-y-MQ0rJNQ3yMffjxsCJJ3StudeFNN6u6MsMF3vGYFGGQaRBTQmoDxPcjMFxitAENoFZmCzB45F0/s320/silhouette.jpg" /></a></div><br />
First off, what's the purpose of the silhouette, but more importantly, what are those little 3-fingered talons coming out of her back? And why no feet? At first I thought, Oh, it's the shadow of a helper right outside the resource room, where students go for help. But then it became more and more disturbing. <br />
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<i>Edited to add:</i> I am informed by someone in the know that the silhouette was put there to honor a beloved staff member, and that she had long, wispy hair - hence the little talons coming out of her back. I would submit that a little note, like, "In honor of...." next to it would go a long way towards explaining the shadow, as well as make the honor concrete. And they should've just given up on the wispy hair thing because there's no way to make that look normal. Just my completely unsolicited opinion. <br />
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<br />
*- George Carlin, RIPLunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-9177980911052337882010-09-06T19:56:00.000-07:002010-09-07T10:01:43.663-07:00Happy 8th Birthday, A!Dear A,<br />
<br />
Dude. I can't believe you're eight years old. Six is still young, and even seven is still little boy-ish, but <i>eight</i> is the big time. Eight is practically pre-teen. <br />
<br />
Your brain continues to amaze me. You mastered your electrical circuit set almost immediately. I can't stump you on geography anymore because you have maps you've made of all the continents all over your room. You remember practically everything you've ever learned. You were particularly into the Greek Gods this year after reading the "Percy Jackson" books. In fact, you told us once that you thought the story of Jesus was a myth and you preferred to believe in the Greek Gods, since the Greeks thought their gods were just as real as we think our God is.<br />
<br />
When Benjamin decided he wanted to grow up to have his own store that sold only holiday merchandise, you advised him not to have a whole room for certain holidays because some weren't celebrated by many people: "Like St. George's Day. Hardly anyone celebrates St. George's Day anymore." <br />
<br />
You come up with the best ideas. You had the idea to think of all the questions you could possibly think of, write them all down in a notebook, and then find the answers. You thought if you did that, you'd know everything and then wouldn't have to go to school anymore. You also came up with the idea of a school newspaper on your own. You included the weather forecast and which flowers were blooming and which were dead. I'd type it up for you and you'd cut it out and distribute it. You were very proud to have been the first student to publish their own newspaper at the school. <br />
<br />
Sometimes you can be amazingly kind and helpful to your brother and friends, and sometimes you can be a real jerk to them. You're still enthusiastic about almost everything (as your teacher says, you have "almost boundless enthusiasm" for new projects). For the most part, you are gracious and polite to adults, although you've gotten shyer and less talkative with them in the last year. Ab. is still your best friend at school, but you're having to reach out more to other kids since she's doing more girly stuff this year. You love being in the oldest group at school and are good at watching out for the younger kids. <br />
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I'm so proud of you on the soccer field. You always try your best, and you always follow the coach's directions. You don't let anything slow you down, and you're not discouraged by losses.<br />
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I can feel my influence on you slowly ebbing away. You no longer think my music is cool just because I'm listening to it. You don't trust my sense of style (probably a wise choice). You're watching your friends more closely for clues. <br />
<br />
You really don't want to hold my hand anymore, but you'll still snuggle, especially before bed. You stopped calling me "Mama" and now call me "Mom." You may not be getting as tall as you'd like, but you're still getting awfully big to me.<br />
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Love, MomLunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-9739606751036413392010-09-04T21:28:00.000-07:002010-09-04T21:28:48.633-07:00A 5K Under My Belt<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitd_8IFeTk56J2JdmU-4a9StyOVFYOgHWj3HtjoNvJpWgu3ZX69kiwJ7rZCbYkWEIR3aj54OejfLRVpOxTTg97-SXJ54sQmvmbWwYsff2rZUGnPcFQwdnBNxEhleZEj4LAQbNy/s1600/10K+on+the+bay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitd_8IFeTk56J2JdmU-4a9StyOVFYOgHWj3HtjoNvJpWgu3ZX69kiwJ7rZCbYkWEIR3aj54OejfLRVpOxTTg97-SXJ54sQmvmbWwYsff2rZUGnPcFQwdnBNxEhleZEj4LAQbNy/s320/10K+on+the+bay.jpg" /></a></div><br />
OK, now I see why people do this. I've done those 3 miles before and I'll tell you, it's a lot less boring when you're doing it as part of a race. I made it in just over 38 minutes, which beat my previous 40 minutes so I was happy. Felt great, too. I made my excellent barely-faster-than-walking time by watching a little girl way in front of me with a pink tank top on...and making it my mission to beat her. EAT MY DUST, little girl! <br />
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I think I beat all the walkers, too, so that's something. No naked rollerbladers this time, though. <br />
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.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-32682835829526838082010-09-03T21:24:00.000-07:002010-09-03T21:24:09.541-07:00Are Memes Cheating?Sorry, this is lame, but I have a 5K to run tomorrow, a funeral to attend, and birthday celebration for A. to navigate. So I'm doing a meme from Facebook for tonight's post: <br />
<br />
<blockquote>The rules:<br />
Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH! YOU'LL MAKE YOURSELF NUTS IF YOU THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT! Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what albums my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note - upper righthand side in no particular order). This is very hard so just grab 15 off the top of your head.</blockquote><br />
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This is so totally going to date me. (Also, since I've compiled the list, I keep thinking of albums to add. I can't believe I forgot the Beatles and the Stones. But I'm not sure which I'd take off....)<br />
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The Irish Rovers - The Unicorn*<br />
U2 - Joshua Tree<br />
Foreigner -4<br />
Bee Gees - Saturday Night Fever<br />
Indigo Girls - Rites of Passage<br />
They Must Be Giants - Flood<br />
Cars - Shake it Up<br />
Go-Go's - Beauty and the Beat<br />
Matraca Berg - Lying to the Moon<br />
Emmylou Harris - Duets<br />
Simon and Garfunkle - Concert in Central Park<br />
Billy Joel - 52nd Street<br />
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - May the Circle Be Unbroken<br />
David Bowie - Heroes<br />
Tori Amos - Under The Pink<br />
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*Bite me - it's the first one I thought of. I loved it when I was a kid.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-50923474141689608782010-09-02T20:33:00.000-07:002010-09-02T20:33:05.598-07:00Get Started Earlier...That's going to have to be my mantra for this month if I'm going to keep blogging. It's barely past 8pm and I'm so brain dead I'm having trouble stringing together a coherent thought. I also occasionally get preoccupied by a client who's stumping me, and that's happening now. My mind keeps wandering back there, trying to come up with the verbal magic wand that will help us past this roadblock.<br />
<br />
ANYWAY....so I made it all the way through the "Couch to 5K" program, which I'm proud of because every time I tried it before I've given up around week 5. It's kind of a misnomer, though - because really what it is is "Couch to 30 Minutes of Running." Unless you run a faster than 10 minute mile, ain't no way you're doing a 5K in under 30 minutes. It takes me almost 45 minutes to run a 5K right now because I am slow as a slug. In fact, I'm not sure you can call what I do running. Seems more like a "faster-than-walking-shuffle" to me.<br />
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To realize how momentous this is, you have to realize that the last time I ran with any regularity was over 10 years ago, before I got married. At the time I lived in the Berkeley hills, and the 2 mile stretch to Wildcat Canyon Park was so beautiful in both sunshine and fog that I ran all the time. BUT - only between 2-3 miles. 30 minutes at the most, and usually more like 22-25 minutes. And that was when I weighed 20 lbs. less than I do now. So to regularly be running over 40 minutes is pretty tremendous for me. It still feels like a marathon and my legs feel like lead logs, but I'm slogging along.<br />
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About 9 years ago I ran the farthest I've ever run, 5 miles, for a local radio station's run in Golden Gate Park. I remember on the way to the starting line, we walked through the park dearly in the morning and came upon a whole bunch of naked rollerbladers of all shapes and sizes shooting a scene for a film. They'd huddle in their coats in between takes, drop the coats and skate stark raving naked down a small hill until the guy yelled "Cut!" Some people were pushing strollers (I'm assuming the babies weren't naked but I couldn't see them). It was the weirdest sight and what I wouldn't have given for an iPhone camera back then.<br />
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I like all the accouterments that go along with running - I love the iPhone apps that use GPS to pinpoint my exact route on a huge map of the U.S. I like the Nike lady that tells me, "walk around a bit to activate your sensor," I like the running websites, the idea that "Yeah, I'm a runner." But when I'm actually out there on the trail or sidewalk....well, not loving it so much. And tonight my legs and feet are so tired I really don't want to walk anywhere. It reminds me of being 42 weeks pregnant, and that's not a good feeling. I have my first 5K since starting this whole thing in two days, and I hope I've recovered by then.<br />
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I also hope I don't give up after I finish the race. The main reason I do it is that I don't have much time to exercise, so it gives me the best bang for my minute, and I get to be outside.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948926.post-18500170483187169472010-09-01T22:24:00.000-07:002010-09-01T22:24:33.489-07:00It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPuQijNGK7uM7QQtOIpAelQCar0Ufz7WQutq5fY16XjwQ9ZuM8JsO9vOol6rCePnap1HPeq0RCBDcElW1O2apm__gEjIA1tDiVuEr_jYcKtLuGt7-Byq9hKgPFNp6dNd4j7c8W/s1600/cropIMG_7209.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPuQijNGK7uM7QQtOIpAelQCar0Ufz7WQutq5fY16XjwQ9ZuM8JsO9vOol6rCePnap1HPeq0RCBDcElW1O2apm__gEjIA1tDiVuEr_jYcKtLuGt7-Byq9hKgPFNp6dNd4j7c8W/s320/cropIMG_7209.jpg" /></a></div>It's still 10:17pm here on the West Coast, so I'm still on track. <br />
<br />
From my facebook update today: <i>My baby boy started kindergarten today. The teacher was saying, "they will have tears, you will have tears.." and we were all, "Yahoo! What's the hold up? C'mon, take 'em!"</i><br />
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I've never cried the first day of school. I think I may have gotten a little teary on A's very first day of preschool, but that's just because I'd never left him with anyone who wasn't related to me before. <br />
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Truthfully, I have been holding my breath until this day. We had a very fun summer, very busy, but I have been counting the days until they'd be back in school again. I know it's the fashion for "good" mothers to say that they're sorry summer's coming to an end and they'll miss the little rugrats during the day. Sorry, but I'm thrilled. I can finally clean the house without stopping every 2 minutes to answer a question, separate some Legos, put in new batteries, get a snack or pour juice. <br />
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I can exercise by myself and don't have to bribe the boys to ride their bikes around the block with me six times so I can get my run in. <br />
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I'm just not that good at multi-tasking. If I can get my stuff done in the morning, I think I'll be that much readier to welcome them with open arms and a snack and a patient ear in the afternoon. It's also really nice to look forward to seeing them again.Lunaseahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06148921520523971670noreply@blogger.com1