Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Beginning of the End

For a few days now, it seems like every freakin' building's air/heat system has been wonky. First it's hot, then it's cold, then they turned off the air, then they blasted the air conditioning.....Then I realized that if it's happening in every building I am in, including my own home and the supermarket and the car, it's probably me. FABULOUS. I'm starting to get hot flashes?!

Last night, after medicating my monthly migraine and trying to fall asleep, I got out of bed, tore off my long-sleeve t-shirt, and dug through my drawers for my extra-light pajamas that I wear during heat waves. Then I tore the covers off the bed and wrapped the sheet around half of me (I can't sleep just with nothing - have to have at least a sheet, no matter how hot it is). The sweats aren't as bad as they were in the weeks after I gave birth, when G. christened me "The Swamp Thing," but they're still annoying.

Then this morning, everything was going along fine, but all of a sudden the boys turned into small devil-monsters who were put on this earth to torment me. They were always such needy, whiny little leeches and why did I want children anyway? I had to bite my tongue because what wanted to come out of my mouth was not intended for children under 30 years old.

Then we're driving to school, "Feels Like Home" comes on the CD, and I start singing along, Benjamin starts in with the chorus and we're singing together, "Feels like home to me...feels like I'm all the way back where I belong," and I begin sobbing. It's just so...sweet and tender and I love my little boys sooooo much.

WTH???? I'm only 43 and if this is peri-menopause, just shoot me now because there is no way I (or my family) will survive the next 10 years. Aaaaauuuugggghhh!

8 comments:

Beastarzmom said...

DON'T EVEN.....
no, seriously, DON'T EVEN!
I realize Mom was in her forties, but I'm going to take this up with whoever's in charge b/c this would be seriously f**ked up if you get there before me.

Beastarzmom said...

Speaking of which - I just went through 2 hopeful weeks of hot flashes (I know - you're not supposed to WISH for them). Gone as fast as they came on.
fml.

Lunasea said...

You and me both. I'm not ready!

Kath M said...

Loved the post - have to tell you, I came to the same conclusion last month. And had the same reaction! What is going on with my usually so predictable body?? :) Different symptoms, but after much research decided I had too many random symptoms for it to be anything else. Ticked me off that nobody warned me, I mean HELLO! Isn't that what your annual appointment is for?? From what I gather, it's not unusual for some women to start in their late 30's, early 40's. But again, information would have been a giant plus. Welcome to the club baby!

LemonySarah said...

Welcome to my world.

Beastarzmom said...

I hate you all.

mtb0001 said...

My mom went through menopause at 37. I think my grandma was 40. I was certain that it was my turn at 39, particularly since I've been having (lucky me) 26-day cycles rather than my normal 29-31, but my doctor ran that test and I'm still ovulating.

I've probably just shared too much, but at least it wasn't on Facebook.

Carrie said...

When my mom was about 40, she started taking what we all coined her happy pills. Of course, this was back in the days of hormone replacement therapy but man, those pills made it possible for the rest of us to live with her for several years. My poor dad--three hormonal teenage daughters and a wife in peri-menopause. No wonder he left any chance he got. :)

 
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