Another funny parody of the Tom "Wacky Boy" Cruise video by Jerry O'Connell. He does a good job with the Tommy Hysterical Laughter.

Spring Fashion Report '08

On her blog today, Lemony Sarah introduced us all to the wonders of designer Thom Browne (which she found via Dave Barry).

I was so taken by this wunderkind, I just had to go check out his designs myself and steal LS's blog idea. Here are two more favorites:

How often have you heard your man say: "This unitard would be just perfect if I only had a pocket for my keys and ID."

Or, perhaps, "I'm too much man for this unitard. I need a swatch of fabric RIGHT THERE for reinforcement. "


And, for those days at the office when the regular business suit is too stuffy, but a polo shirt is too casual:

Something Else That Annoyed Me Today...

On the side of my lo-carb cardboard/energy bars, there are little "Thought Starters." Today mine suggested, "If you want something, give it away." How the h*ll am I supposed to GIVE it away if I don't HAVE it? If I HAD it to give away, I wouldn't WANT it anymore, would I? I guess it did start my thoughts. But I don't need much help with the cranky thoughts, thankyouverymuch.

Strength in Numbers

1. Exchange at the grocery store tonight:

Me: $1.49? The sign under the pistachios right here (pointing to display right across from checkstand) says .99.

Guy behind me: Yep, she's right. That's what it says.

Checker: No, it's $1.49.

Me: See the sign right here? Under the full box of pistachios? (ruffles through the box full of pistachios for emphasis). See? A box FULL of pistachios, and nothing but pistachios.

Guy behind me: Yep, that's what it says. 99 cents. Right there.

Checker: No, it's $1.49. They're in the wrong place. Someone put them in the peanuts' place. Do you want them or not?

Me: Well, I'll still take them, but I think you should move the nuts.

Guy behind me: I think you should give them to her for .99.

Me: Yeah, it's not my fault someone put them in the wrong place.

Checker: FINE! (takes .50 off)

Me: Thank you, guy behind me.

And the moral is, stand up for the person in front of you. Maybe he did this because the lady in front of me took a really long time counting out her change and was still 5 cents short, so I looked through my purse for a nickel. I didn't have one, but apparently the karma still counted.

2. First day of SBD and I want nothing more than a piece of soft white bread. Hell, I'd take soft white flour. But I can tell my body is "detoxing" and so I'm sticking to it. The 99 cent pistachios helped.

3. Question about the Barbara Walters special where 6 couples get to vie for a teen's baby: Does America get to choose?

We named the fish Friday. Friday died. I'd just bought a larger tank, gravel and a castle for him to hide behind, and treated the water for chlorine. He liked all that stuff in the small bowl, and was doing fine, but the larger bowl just did him in, or maybe he was terminal anyway. We'll never know. Greg says I'm running a fish hospice.

I had another Seinfeld moment while getting a burrito the other night. I walked in and the place was deserted, probably because of the trendy new burrito place a block away. Anyway, I order my burrito and pay, and the lady, the ONLY other person in there, gives me a receipt, circles the number at the bottom and says, "Number 60." Um, OK. So she goes behind the counter, makes the burrito, puts it in a bag, places it on the counter and calls out, "Number 60!" I look around just in case someone has walked in and I missed it, and thank her. I was afraid she was going to ask to see my receipt just to make sure I was in fact Number 60. Even though NO ONE else was there, not even a custodian or another cook. I guess rules are rules.

Mmmm....KFC. So I'm in the drive through tonight, with Aidan patiently hanging out in the back seat. The car in front of me orders a freshly slaughtered chicken or something that takes forever to put together. She finishes, and because there are cars in front of her, she can only pull forward about two feet. Not enough room for me to pull forward to the little speaker box (why can't they make it in the shape of the colonel? I think that would be a good idea.). But for some reason Miss KFC doesn't see that and I hear her voice saying, "May I take your order?" Don't they have a camera or something that shows if a car is there or not? Anyway, I'm still a good 15 feet away, so I wait. She asks again. I sing, "I'm not there yet!" like she's going to hear me. Then she says, "You think it over and decide and just go ahead when you're ready." Thanks for the reassurance - very supportive, our Miss KFC. About 10 seconds go by, they're still slaughtering that chicken, and she asks again. This time I lean out and yell, "I'm not there yet!" I suppose I could've yelled, "A number 4 with Diet Pepsi!" instead, but it felt stupid. The cars pull forward and I finally get to give my order and I'm wondering if she's thinking, "it took her that long to decide on number 4??" Anyway, they actually got the order right and mmm...love those crispy strips.