Thursday, June 18, 2009

A Mother's Prayer: Please, God, Don't Let Me Screw This Up

I've been feeling pretty burnt out lately. Everywhere I turn, at work, at home, someone needs me. My job is, by definition, being needed for 50 minutes at a time. Then 10 minutes to heat up some more tea and go to the bathroom (a natural result of all that tea)...then another 50 minutes of being needed.

And you all know what it's like with a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old. A. has always been able to entertain himself, but to Ben, nothing's worth doing if he's doing it alone. He reminds of those gulls on Finding Nemo, where they're all yelling "Mine! Mine! Mine!" except he makes it sound like "Mom! Mom! Mom!"

As I've complained before, my hormones are all over. No matter how hard I try, I'm a raving bitch at least part of the time, the kids watch too much TV, they have too many chicken nugget dinners, have to take a bath in a dirty bathtub sometimes, etc.

But then today was A.'s last day of first grade, and with the last day comes report cards. I read, "His writing is truly extraordinary for a first grader. Everything is there. Highly original." And then I teared up when I read, "A. happily does outstanding work in all areas. It is so rare to see such a well-rounded, happy, able student." And his "cultural" teacher (science, geography, etc.) wrote, "Outstanding! Enthusiastic! A pure delight!"

God, I hope I don't screw this up.

5 comments:

Greg said...

Sweetie, it isn't possible for you to screw it up! You're the reason he's so wonderful in the first place!

Anonymous said...

You really have no idea what a gem you are, do you? You've done a great job in the past and the future looks bright.
Knot Mom

Just Breathe said...

It is often amazing what people see in our children that we don't notice. Obviously you are doing a great job.

erin said...

you are an amazing mama! in fact b and i were just saying how we were looking forward to being with you and g so we could get parenting tips simply by watching you two with your boys. love you! e
ps - way to go A!!

Lunasea said...

Aw, well, you all are very sweet. I honestly wasn't fishing for compliments. Believe me, there are times when I make Kate Gosselin look like the most easy-going mom ever.

 
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