Train of Thought

Don't you hate it when life gets in the way of blogging?

There are a couple of issues currently getting in the way: One is that I often only have one hand available when I'm at the computer. I know it shouldn't stop me - heck, I bet there's a one-armed blogger out there somewhere who doesn't let it stop him/her! I'm never gonna get misquoted in the newspaper with this attitude!
"I was sad because I did not have two hands to blog...then I saw a woman with no hands and she blogged with a stick between her teeth." Heck, I don't deserve you, my loyal readers.

Whoa, um, where was I? Oh, the second thing is that I am a flybaby. You've probably heard of Flylady (www.flylady.com). Yeah, yeah, I know - I don't really believe her when she says, "I love you!" either and all the positive reinforcement gets a bit cloying, BUT...the routines work. They work, and I'm newly productive. I sold 4 (Four!) things on e-bay, and got them to the post office on time. I've already started the laundry and run the dishwasher today, and taken both boys to a dr's appointment. AND..I make menu lists now for the week and go to the grocery store once, maybe twice, a week. Yep. Believe it or not.

Which is a good thing, because G. actually starts at Major HMO today. It's been a ridiculous ride (they called him because the background checker couldn't confirm a previous employment teaching workshops...for them), but he really starts today.

Friday was G's birthday. We packed a picnic and headed to the beach. A. kept saying he wanted to build something "inniseen," which we finally figured out meant "interesting." He did, in fact, build a very interesting pile of sand, oops, I mean castle. His other new word is "bootiful." I made a small scrapbook for him, and he leafs through it, saying, "Wow! I love dis! Iss bootiful!" Which I thought was sooo sweet until he also told me later, "Wow! Look at all da (grocery) bags! They're bootiful!"

But the really, really weird thing lately is that....I'm quite happy lately. Not sure if the nursing hormones are working on me better than they did last time, or if the answer is staying on Prozac and not going off it again...but whatever, I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel so darn LUCKY to have my two boys. I keep thinking, "This is how it's supposed to be." Still got the financial issues, but whatever - there are so many things that are more important than money. A. has finally admitted that I am AS FUN AS PAPA, and Fussy Boy Ben is fussy and spitty, but totally in love with me. I'm even thinking maybe of having another one in a year or two. My God, are those pigs flying outside my window? What happened to the most ambivalent mother on earth?

All of which makes me kind of boring, I'm afraid. Wait, I know I've got angst in here somewhere...