Don't Read This If You're Vomit-Phobic

A. has got to be the most stoic vomiter I've ever seen. The other night we were returning home from a b-day party with both kids in the back seat, and I turned around to look at A. I'm not sure why I turned at that time - I don't know if I heard something or was just turning around to see if he was asleep. A's mouth was wide open, his eyes were a tiny bit surprised, and out of his mouth was pouring liquid. It wasn't quite projectile, but it streamed nicely from his mouth to his pants, mostly skipping his shirt. No noise, although later G. said he heard something that sounded like cellophane but more liquidy.

A. wasn't leaning forward, clutching his stomach or coughing. Instead, it was like we had a faucet in the backseat that looked like him. It reminded me of "The Exorcist," and was just a bit spooky. I said, "Oh my goodness! He's throwing up!" It just kept coming, and all the while A. was staring at me with a, "do you think could you do something about this?" kind of look. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't believe he'd eaten or drunk that much. We're talking gallons. Or quarts, at least.

I looked around for a towel, or maybe a receptacle of some sort, but of course we didn't have one. A.'s thrown up maybe once since he was one year old, so we're not really prepared for this sort of event.

So we have about 20 miles to drive home, and all A. said was, "I'm not feeling so good." He was very quiet the rest of the way home, and G. and I kept opening the windows because the car was not smelling so good, either. We kept asking him how he felt and he responded, "I'm still not feeling so good."

We got him out of his clothes and I carried him to his bedroom, and all he said about it was, "I didn't like that." I was trying to figure out if he was done throwing up, so I asked him if his tummy felt empty, and he said, "I'm not throw-upping anymore." And true to his word, he didn't. I realized I really have no idea how to handle upset tummies because he never gets them, or if he does, he doesn't tell us.

When I was about 9 years old, I got carsick on the way to Tahoe and threw up all over myself in the car. We were about 10 minutes from our destination, and I remember riding the 10 minutes just disgusted and annoyed that they were making me ride in the car all vomit-y. Now that it's happened to my kid, though, I realize, what the hell else were they supposed to do?

By the way, they need to make vomit-resistant car seat straps. Those things will hold a scent forever. So far, Oxyclean has worked best.