Helping You Understand the Theory of Relativity, Effectively

According to our State Professional Organization's Magazine, professionals with my (master's level) psychotherapy license are not perceived to be particularly smart, understanding, effective or helpful.

So, in their infinite wisdom, State Professional Organization suggests that I make "more effort to appear helpful, smart, effective, and understanding." I should also consider how the books in my waiting room and my dress reflect on me as "helpful, understanding, or smart."

Well, which is it? Am I supposed to appear as all three at once, or one at a time? What exactly is "helpful, understanding or smart" dress? My Travelsmith dress which requires no ironing and went with me to the best museums in Italy? But it's black, which may not be a very understanding color.

Geez, the pressure.