One thousand ninety-six days...

...that A's been around. Existing outside of me, that is. He left my body and began taking up his own space in the world three years ago today.

He made me a mother, and a mother is what I am supposed to be. Although there are times when I want to sell both of them on e-bay and escape to Hawaii; although it's a rare day that I get to brush my teeth, wash my hair AND shave my legs; although I don't fit into any of my clothes anymore and the only new lingerie I've bought in three years has been new white Olga nursing bras to replace the threadbare ones;

everything I did before A. came was a prelude to being a mother.

Thank you for making me a mother, A. Thank you for your shining smile in the morning, your "Hi Mama! What can I do for you?" and "Watch this, Mama!" Thank you for running to me for comfort, for feeling safe enough to be mad at me, for wanting to share your super-duper-exciting new train cars with me. Thank you for listening so carefully and repeating almost everything I say, verbatim. Thank you for wanting to snuggle in Mama's bed (not Papa's bed...Mama's bed). Thank you for making me laugh every day. Thank you for being so great that I was willing to have another one.

I adore you, my sweetest little redheaded boy. Don't grow up too quickly...stay small for "a little bit while," OK?