Animal-Friendly Chicken Farm/Hospice

"So, when the farmers are going to kill the cows and pigs, are they expecting it?"

A. has lost his innocence. He understands, now, that chicken and sauce comes from Actual Chickens, bacon comes from Real Pigs and that these animals were once alive and not unlike the pigs and chickens he feeds on visits to the farm. He's not terribly happy about the killing part, but isn't willing to give up chicken and bacon, either.

So now he wants to live on a farm. One that sells meat, but doesn't slaughter animals. "We could have chickens but only sell the meat of the ones who die of old age. Or accidentally."

Me: "Great idea! On the package, we could put "Dead of Natural Causes or Accidents Only."

The ideas just kept coming:

"We could hire a really clumsy farmhand for when we have a lot of orders."

"We could pile a bunch of stuff in the henhouse, and make it really wobbly and stuff. One earthquake, and whoa! Chicken breasts for everyone!"

"We could offer to hospice old, sick chickens (although I'm not sure their meat would be very good)."

I don't know why this idea cracks me up so much. But it does, so I'm writing it down.