Watching a DVD of Nick Jr. shows:

A: I wonder what's next? Maybe it's Blue's Clues!

Ben: Maybe it's Blue's Penis!

(and if you arrived here via a google search for that very phrase, I don't wanna know).

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Ben has always been a major mimic. He repeats everything. Sometimes A. will be telling me a story and it will really tax my listening skills because Ben is on the other side of me repeating everything A. says with about a 3 second delay.

A.'s been listening to folk tales at school - of course, all of them have the repeating phrase theme. Ben made up his own folk tale: "The first tree said pssssh, then the second tree said pssshhhh, the third tree said psssssh and the last tree said psssssh. And that's it."

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It's the most wonderful time of the year.....Halloween crafts!



These are glue ghosts. According to A., Master Ghost Designer, and Ben, Master Repeater of Everything A. Says, each ghost has a penis AND a bladder.

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Here's our dining room window. Oh, did I forget to tell you about this? Yeah, well.....



A week ago, I was going after one of those big ol' horseflies on the window. I smacked it with a rolled up magazine, shattering the whole damn thing. Not cracking, no, shattering. And it ain't safety glass. I have the cut right there on my thumb underneath the SpongeBob band-aid to prove it.

I swept up the glass and G. boarded up the window quickly and with ease. I admit I was surprised at his boarding-up abilities. In fact, it was a little suspicious, if you ask me.

Long Overdue

Scrapped this week for the first time since the laptop died. Here's the one for the infamous Mud Day. (Kit is Tenacious J by Lauren Reid).

After just two weeks of kindergarten, A. already has so many new words in his vocabulary.

Like: "crybaby, copycat, sweeeeet," and my favorite "piggy girl."

Anyway. So I did the whole lecture of "not everything you hear kids say will be nice, you get to choose not to repeat it...blah blah blah" of which I assure you he heard, "blah blah blah."

Auuugh! I'm losing him!

Sidenote: I'm watching the Emmys - didn't both Ben Vereen and John Amos die? I would swear they did. Yet there they are on stage. The magic of television, I tell ya. Seriously, I'm sure Ben Vereen died. Oh no, wait, it was Gregory Hines. Never mind.

Evolution

So we made these dinosaur eggs for the party. First we squeezed plastic dinosaurs into deflated balloons (the most difficult part - we finally figured out that you roll the narrow neck of the balloon like a condom on your two thumbs, hold it wide open and have someone else put the dino in). Then we blew the balloons up and covered them with papier mache.



I'd read somewhere that making the last layer with white paper makes it easier to paint, so we did newspaper and then cheap computer paper. Then we popped the balloon inside and painted them.


We buryed the eggs in the sandbox


and let the kids find and "hatch" them and find the dinos inside.


You have to look at these pictures because it took a total of about 5 hours to make the eggs, and about 5 minutes for them to be hatched and disposed of. They were fun, though.

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Yesterday morning, the jumpy house was set up about 3 hours before the party started. Now, here is where you see the big difference between me and my son. As a kid, I would've loved nothing more than having the whole thing to myself. A., on the other hand, really really wanted other people to jump with him. Ben was not interested in going anywhere near the suddenly huge dinosaur in our backyard, so G and I took turns in it, but we had to set up for the party.

So a while later, A. ran up to me outside the jumpy house and said, "Mama, did you know I have an imaginary friend?"

"Oh? Is it a he or a she?"

"It's a he."

"And what's his name?"

"Um, I don't know."

"Oh, well, maybe next time you play with him you can ask him."

(staring at me) "Mama, you know, I'm just talking to air."

The big dinosaur birthday party is over. I'll have more pics later, but for now, this was our super-cheapo dinosaur pinata. I think it's funny that it has x's over the eyes - just in case anyone might think it was a live dinosaur pinata.

Madeleine McCann's Mother Becomes a Suspect

And from the Land of Unbelievably Positive Spins, this quote from the missing girl's uncle:

'I think they have to tell you more as soon as you become the suspect. So in some ways, that's a positive development in that my brother and Kate will get more information from the police and hopefully we'll be able to move forward to go back to the initial information about the day that Madeleine went missing," he told NBC's "Today" show.'

So the first day went well, according to A.

There are lots of rules and one of them is that you can't talk to each other during class, and he admits that rule is kind of hard. And you have to remember where your desk is because you have to keep returning to it. "You have to keep the same desk forever. Until next month." But he didn't get even one time-out, he reports proudly!

And the worst part is that he has to wear "blank clothes" every day, i.e. a uniform. "Blank clothes" is a perfect way to describe it.

First Day of Kindergarten

I forgot to tell him not to throw away the plastic containers in his lunch.

I forgot to tell his teacher that he just learned how to do the clasp thing on his new shorts and might need help.

I forgot to fix his hair.

I forgot to leave his non-uniform jacket with him in case it's cold at recess.

I forgot to tell his teacher about his allergies and that he needs to be reminded to grab kleenex.

I forgot to tell him to make sure he doesn't have peanut butter all over his face after lunch.

I completely forgot about his brother, over to the side in the stroller, while I got Aidan in line and took pictures and told him how exciting this was. Fortunately, Ben was still sitting there when I remembered his existence.

I did tell him I loved him. I did tell him he was going to have fun and that I would be excited to hear about his day. I reminded him to use kleenex. And I did give him his lunch.

And on the way home, Ben and I saw this:


I swear that yellow bird has never been in our neighborhood before. I hope he doesn't feel odd with all the brown birds. I hope he makes friends at recess. I hope he feels comfortable going potty when he needs to and doesn't try to hold it. Oh, wait, it's a bird. Little chance of that.

I am posting this, finally, from my laptop.

The Geek Squad didn't exactly lose my laptop, they just stuck it on a shelf in the back where it sat for 2 weeks. There was some computer glitch the day I came in and it was "waiting" for some number from corporate so it could be shipped out. Apparently the glitch was fixed the following day, so why it wasn't shipped out the next day is a mystery to me and the two sincerely sorry guys working the day I stomped back in and told them, "Just give the damn thing back to me. And refund the diagnosis fee."

Then I took it over to Data Recovery Group, which is fortunately near my home. They were much more professional and expensive. Dude there got everything off my hard drive (I think - I haven't been able to load Quickbooks so I don't know if I have up-to-date data). I gave him my left arm and leg. Backup, people. Often. Seriously. I'm like a reformed smoker - "Don't you realize what can happen??? Tragedy!"

Anyway, now I have it back, reinstalled Windows XP and whatever necessary drivers I could figure out were necessary (they really should make that part easier - and why, when I bought this computer, was I given a CD to reinstall Roxio-something-or-other when what I really needed were video, graphics and ethernet drivers that I had to find and download on my other computer from Dell?).

Anyway, it' s nice to be back up and running. I'm going to be a lot more careful about what I put on here - I know I had a hard drive failure because I kept the thing plugged in and turned on too much. But it boots up soooo quickly now that it doesn't have all those stupid little programs on it.

And tomorrow is A's first day of kindergarten. He told us tonight, "You are going to miss me soooo much!" You have no idea, buddy.

This little baby will be starting kindergarten next week. It's a full day program, and you know what that means....I have to start packing lunches. We had a trial run this summer with daycamp, and I failed miserably. I forgot to pack a lunch on the both first day and the last day - and it was a 5 day camp. The first day, I ran home, threw something together and drove it back. On the last day, we were having a potluck afterward anyway, so he just shared W's lunch.

I used to work at a school - I know how parents who forget to pack a lunch are viewed, and I don't want them to label me as the press-lips-together-and-shake-head-sadly-mother - not yet, anyway. So I'm going to try really, really hard to remember to send him with a lunch. I wonder if I could stash a MRE or something somewhere in the classroom in case of emergency.

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Me: A, how many times do I have to tell you I don't like potty talk?

A: Um, 12?

Me: Well, I'm pretty sure I'm told you more than 12 times.

A: No, I'm thinking we're at 11.

Today was way too hot to play outside, so I shopped on the computer. My birthday is just about 2 months away, so I've put together a kaboodle list. But I'm not nearly as good a shopper as I used to be. I need some other like-minded people's lists to peruse. So if you kaboodle, let me know who you are and feel free to add Lunasea237 as a friend.

Here's what I've come up with so far:

lunasea237's Wish List by lunasea237

Living Dangerously Is....

....giving a cereal called "Optimum Power" to a 2-year-old. I'm afraid he may explode.

Friday

My attempts to track down my laptop at Best Buy have so far been fruitless. They've had it for almost 2 weeks, were supposed to call with an estimate and I haven't heard anything.

I called twice yesterday - the first time I was put on hold for 30 minutes and the second time they just didn't bother to answer the phone. I tried calling the main number (1-888-best-buy) and they can't get through until the store opens, so I have to call back again after 10am. I asked the CS rep, "You can probably get through better than I can, huh?" He answered, "Well, we have lots of practice." Oh good - that instills confidence.

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A. recently picked out a bright pink bicycle helmet. G had a tiny crisis of masculinity in the bike shop with the choice, but went along with it.

Then we noticed that A. wasn't riding his bike. The one time I convinced him to ride it, he jumped off as soon as Neighbor Boy came around. I asked if it was about the helmet.

"W. isn't going to like it," he said. W. is one of his best friends, a real boy's boy who hates the color pink with a passion. A. likes to tease him by telling him how much he loves pink. But to say you like pink and to wear a bright pink bike helmet are two different things.

"Good thing W. doesn't have to wear it, then. Look, buddy, when W. picks out a helmet for himself, he can pick one he likes. Do you not like this one anymore?"

"No, I do like it."

"Then you shouldn't worry about what the other kids think. It's your helmet."

I sighed. I want him to be strong enough to stand up to peer pressure, but to tell a kid that it doesn't matter if other kids tease him is ridiculous.

"Look, I think you should either wear it because you like it, or we can go pick out a different one. But to not ride your bike at all isn't going to work."

The next day, W. was out and A. rode his bike with the pink helmet happily. There didn't seem to be any problem with it. Way to go, A.

The next day he told me he wanted to be a witch for Halloween. It's one thing for a 3-year-old boy to be a ladybug (see Halloween 2005), but it's another for a kindergarten boy to choose to be a witch. I took a deep breath and wondered if I should say, "Great. We'll make it happen," or "How 'bout a wizard instead?"

Fortunately, he saved me by saying, "No, I mean I want to be a pirate. Half-witch, half-pirate. No, I mean I'm going to be a vampire."

(with relief) "OK, you've got some time to decide."

Sometimes it's hard to practice what you preach. Especially if your boy's going to be the one in a witch dress at the costume parade.

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A new bedtime routine is called "Silly Questions." G. started it with A. and Ben isn't about to be left out. At first I tried to get out of it by saying that only Papa knew how to do Silly Questions, but that didn't work.

Silly Questions involve us asking the boys, "If you were going to be/do A, would you be/do B or C?" Like "If you were going to be a dinosaur, would you be a Brontosaurus or a Triceratops?"

The boys then answer something that wasn't given as an option, and we express dismay and surprise. G. is better at that part than I am.

So Ben just walked up to me and said, "I goin' ask you silly question. If you were going to be a banana or a monkey, would you be a fence or a couch?" Then he chortled to himself and walked away.

So I've been checking out scrumdilly-do for kids' craft ideas. We decided to make the foil collages and turn them into cards. It worked well, I think. Ben loved painting with the glue and A. was very proud of his ability to evenly scatter the beads (as oppsed to Ben, who preferred a clumping method). The neighbor kids who came over to play saw them drying and asked to do some more. We made so many that I'm still gluing collages onto cards (see below), so I tried to placate the kids with the soaking chalk thing. It does make the chalk nice and bright, but it also attracts ant tribes, so if you have any ants within 5 miles of your home, I suggest trying something else.
Who wouldn't like to receive an orignal, mixed-media child's collage? Maybe A. can sell them.

Do we know where the action is or WHAT?


I have been slacking in the blog department lately. Without my laptop, I'm just lost. It's much more of a pain to upload photos to this computer (my desktop), and it's also more cumbersome when I think of something to write about. I mean, I have to pull out the desk chair, sit down, scoot in and pull the keyboard towards me. Who has the time?

A. is starting kindergarten in a few weeks. He's turning 5 the same week. Don't have a baby in late August/early September if you can help it. Because I'm a rebel, I bought him a uniform top at Target today since they were on sale. We're only supposed to buy uniforms from Land's End. Way to subvert the dominant paradigm, Luna.

I've recently been fascinated by the HBO series Big Love. We don't get HBO, so I rented a couple of the first DVDs after catching a bit on the HBO flat-screen TV on vacation. One of the ways we know we're on vacation is we get to watch cable. Anyway, I love Mormons. G and I have been watching it on the weekends after the boys go to bed. Boy, does HBO show more sex than regular networks - I had no idea. So that's been cutting into the blog time too.

I haven't heard from the Geek Squad. I suppose I should call tomorrow since they've had it over a week now. I have this superstition that if I show God how patient I can be, he will have the Geek Squad call me and say, "We've recovered everything - it was easy and we're not even going to charge you for it because you've been so patient and you obviously deserve some good computer mojo."

I'll let you know when that happens.

Heaven In a Carton

Toffee ice cream with caramel swirls and chocolate caramel cups. Oh. My. God.

Just so you know where I'm coming from, I love ice cream. I don't think I've ever had a flavor I didn't like. However, I have found the best ice cream flavor in the world, and I don't say that lightly. This is the kind of ice cream that can make you continue eating it when your stomach is full because it tastes SO freakin' good. I've even stopped going to Safeway because that's where it's sold (under the Safeway Select label), but today Albertson's is changing into Lucky's (Me: "Oh, the store is closed. We have to go to Safeway. Albertson's is changing into Lucky's." A: "AGAIN?") and we needed milk and juice so we went to Safeway where I was powerless under the Caribou's spell.

I'm baaaaack!

So the day before we left:

1. I go to KMart on my work break to get a pill case. My pill case has spaces for 7 days. I'm going to be gone for 10 days and don't need one of those multi-week things they give patients over 70. I take 3 pills a day and just need a small pill case to carry 3 more days' worth. I'm very good about throwing away old medicine so I don't have an old Rx bottle to use.

Ah, but I forgot Kmart is the land of lines. And something has happened to the register at the front of my line which causes me to be stuck there for 20 goddamn minutes with a stupid pill case, time running out. I dump the pill case and a few other odds and ends on the counter and flee.

2. At my next break, I go to the bank and Safeway to grab lunch. I head back to the pharmacy counter. Time is short and the Safeway is huge, so I ask the pharmacist (I know she's the pharmacist because it says so on her white coat) where the pill cases are. She stares at me and says, "Um. I don't think we carry those."

I stare back and say, "Seriously?"

"Noooo, we don't carry those here."

"Really?"

We do this a couple more times....and finally it is revealed she thought I was asking for pillow cases. She produces a small medicine vial and my problem is solved.

We both have a chuckle and I'm grateful for the free vial, but C'MON - you're a pharmacist, you're surrounded by pills all day and wouldn't it make more sense to think I was asking for PILL CASES even if I WAS asking for pillow cases?

There was more stuff that I don't remember right now, and then I tried to backup Quicken and my laptop died, as explained below.

Other than the laptop tragedy, we had a nice time. Rustic but fun at Diamond Lake in OR with the Wild Turkey (the bird, not the liquor) and Old Time Fiddler conferences - how lucky were we they happened to be there at the same time? They had a fiddler jamboree in the activity hall every night. My family was less enthusiastic about it than I was.

Then on to SunRiver near Bend - very nice except I spent the entire time with my 2-year-old since he's too young to bike or fish. On the last day I managed to rent a bike and get a bike ride in. It really IS a great place to ride bikes. And I would have liked more time at the swimming pool and less time playing Red Light, Green Light with Ben, who won't let you go more than 5 steps at a time. Took for freakin' EVER to take a walk.

Then we drove to Portland to stay with my sister for a few days. Then we drove back....12 hours driving today. From 7am to 7pm straight through with only potty and gas breaks. And a new portable DVD player from Best Buy.

I told G, "The problem with this vacation was we just didn't spend enough time in the car." Pictures tomorrow, maybe.

Checking In

So we did our long car trip from California to Oregon. The night before we were to leave, my laptop died. Yep, the laptop I love and adore, my lifeline, the device the kids were going to watch 3 new DVDs on, the device I was going to catch up on work with, etc., died. I was trying to backup Quicken, it spurted some error message and then gave up the ghost. I had to reinstall Windows XP, which of course wiped out my hard drive, and of course the re-installation disks don't have the drivers for the DVD player or the modem on them (who really wants everything on their computer to work, after all?) so I couldn't even get it to play DVDs. It's terribly sad and I feel a great sinking grief in my heart. Mostly because I'm lazy about backing up and I lost 3 months worth of pictures and work accounting info.

I'm posting this from my SILs laptop in Sunriver. We're impersonating an active family and doing bike rides (not me, though, because none of the bikes fit my short frame, darn it. Ben wasn't up for it either so I stayed home with him but I'm told that I MUST rent an appropriate bike because I MUST try out these trails), hikes and swimming.

I have to give the computer back, but when I return, I'll tell y'all about the day before I left, on which my laptop dying at 10pm was just the culmination of pretty much everything going wrong. I think I brought my luck with me. We've been in the house my ILs rented for less than 24 hours an, there are men fixing the broken garage door and a locksmith fixing my FIL's car that won't start, the lady's been out to fix the wireless internet. And now it's RAINING. In Sunriver. But, the DVD players in the house work. And Ben's sleeping so it's not all bad.

Dreamland

I was woken up at around 5 am this morning by idiots cruising outside our house with their stereo blaring. It takes a special kind of idiot to blare their bone-crushing bass at 5 am.

Then I finally fell back asleep, and dreamed of idiots stealing a very expensive bottle of liquor that I was supposed to return to a bar, so the hunt was on. I came across some suspicious gang-like idiots, chased them, and they shot at me.

My sub-conscious is telling me, "Remember....these idiots have weapons."

A/C Haiku

Air conditioning
blasts some cool air over me
best upgrade to house

Would like to set it
at 70 or lower
but global warming

Makes me feel guilty
So have to keep it higher
But still comfortable

I love my a/c
Want to carry it with me
wherever I go.