Debate-O-Matic III

OK, so I worked late tonight and only heard the last half hour of the debate. It was enough.

Bush: Let me say that I respect all religions since MyOpponent got to say that last time and I didn't.

Kerry: Yeah, well, I can list the Holy Books: the Koran and the Torah and I don't know what Native Americans read but they blessed me too. In fact, I used to be a priest and God told me he was on my side.

Bush: I have a painting in my office that says...it's a Texas painting, from Texas, and it says, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. No, that's not it. Forgive and forget, that's it!" Don't hold the past against me, look to the future! At least with me you know what you're getting!

Kerry: Yeah, well, I used to be a painter, too. Let me throw in John McCain's name a couple of times so you moderates all know he's my friend.

Bush: No fair! He's voting for me! He promised!

Kerry: My eyes are rolling so far back into my head I can't see you anymore.

Moderator: Do you like women?

Bush: I love women. They speak English.

Kerry: I know all about women. Women love me. In fact, I used to be a woman.