OK, OK...

I'm back - not that I ever really left. I'm a big ol' whining pregnant woman right now, so I haven't been posting much.

But we had some of G's friends over for dinner tonight, and they told me a funny story I had to share. Regular readers are familiar with G's nocturnal utterings (I keep wanting to write "emissions," :::snicker:::).

So he went to a Catholic college and would sometimes go to 11pm mass on Saturday nights to get his obligation out of the way. And he was a really, really good boy in college so it's not like he had anything else to do on Saturday night.

Anyway, he's at Mass one night, it's late and the church is kind of dark, and he dozes off. Something startles him awake, and he shouts out, "Do this in memory of me!" which, for all you non-Catholics, is something the priest says, quoting Jesus, during the blessing of the host. His friends in the pew with him were mortified.

You might have to be Catholic or live with a sleep-talker to appreciate this story, but believe me, I had tears from laughing so hard.

Another tear-jerker (for me):

In first grade (again with the Catholic school), G. had circle time. The teacher was talking about how Jesus did good deeds for others. They went around the circle with everyone giving an example of a good deed they'd done in the last week. G. choked and couldn't think of anything. In his panic, he remembered some story about Jesus clothing the naked, so he made up a story about how there was this naked kid walking down the street and he and his mother gave him some clothes. I'm sure the teacher looked up his address after school that day and vowed not to venture into that neighborhood. (Unless she was naked, I guess, in which case it would be good to remember G's address).

Last one:

Remember a while back when he was searching for the meaning of time in the middle of the night? Well, the other night he sits up, glares over me at my clock and announces that it's 12:58 am. OK, so I'm used to that "meaning" something dire, so I say:

Me: What does that mean?

G: What do you mean 'what does that mean'?

Me: What does it mean that it's 12:58am?

G: (scoffing with a level of disgust that he never uses when awake): It Means It's Almost 1 AM. Sheez. (rolls over and goes back to sleep).

I thought of torturing him by falling off the bed, but went back to sleep instead.

Thank goodness for G. He's always good for some material.