Mama Tyson

So when you take your kid to the park and there's a water feature that gets them all wet, you don't have to give them a bath that night, right?

Good.

I am exhausted from playing defensive tackle at the park today. At first it was a lovely scene, sweet toddlers splashing in the water and digging in the sand. But then a hush fell over the playground as every parent at the park looked up with horror to see our worst nightmare descend upon us: 3 buses full of 12-year-old ruffians from some day camp. Their staff lounged in the shade while the hoodlums filled buckets with water to throw at each other. A. got creamed a couple of times and I came very close to acting like a crazed hockey player and doing whatever it took to spill blood in his defense. One staff person was yelling at a kid, "Is that your bucket? NO? PUT IT DOWN!" Like as long as he owned the bucket, throwing water was fine. I turned into one of those mothers who sort of makes exhasperated sounds and shoots dirty looks when an older kids unintentionally sends a tidal wave over my toddler, and it scared me. I mean, one poor kid even apologized but I'd just had it and did sort of a "uuh!" response. Yikes. I'm turning into one of those moms I hated when I was a kid.

This is why I hate playground scenes. There's all this negotiating with yourself about how independent you let them be, how much you interfere when a kid you don't know is being a bully or just careless. Do you shoo away older kids when they climb the structure for toddlers? I know I watch A. pretty closely and always intervene when he tries to grab or push, which is really pretty rare. And, of course I am SO annoyed when a hooligan isn't being corrected and I can't even tell if anyone's here with him. But I have a toddler. A slow one, at that, who is easy to catch. He's not terribly impulsive or aggressive, so I recognize that it's easier for me, and that that has everything to do with luck and temperment, and very little to do with my stellar parenting. He's not even 2 - it's easy to defend him and easy to anticipate his frustrations (sometimes).

Still, it bugs me. I don't want to hover or fight all of A's battles. But at what point do you stand back and let them figure it out on their own? And at what point do you show your child, "Hey, you shouldn't be treated that way and I'm not going to let them hurt you"?