I'm not answering my phone this week.
John McCain won't stop calling. He even had his wife call to see if I would pick up. Mit keeps calling, too, although he's not as obsessed with me as John seems to be. Really, John, if you're reading this, it's not going to work out between us. You've gotta stop calling me.
"But Lunasea," I can hear you saying, "I didn't know you were Republican." I'm not. But 4 long years ago, my BIL made a donation in my name to the Republican party. And gave them my phone number.
Lonely? Tired of coming home and not having messages on your answering machine? Give $10 to the Republicans. They will NEVER leave you alone. Even after you send back their mailings with "I'M A DEMOCRAT. STOP WASTING YOUR POSTAGE ON ME," scrawled all over them in black Sharpie.
Just because I drew a few doodles on BIL's portrait of George and Laura. And I might have signed him up to host a house party for John Kerry in 2004 and I might have added his name to a couple mailing lists. He's moved like, 10 times since then, and I haven't. So the Democrats can't find him anymore and the Republicans are in danger of having me file a restraining order on them. So I guess he wins. OK! I give up!
Just as long as I win in November.