Why I Am Losing My Mind

A few weeks ago I told G, "I'm really burnt out on the boys. I know you take over often, but it would really be great if you could take them OUT OF THE HOUSE for a few hours and let me be home alone."

So he did that yesterday. It was quite a production - maps were consulted, rations in case of a sudden California blizzard were packed, and he hugged me goodbye with, " OK! Goodbye! Have a good day!" I replied, "OK. See you around lunchtime."

He kept them out for about 5 hours. It was AWESOME. I did exciting things like a workout video (by myself without having to pause every 5 minutes or make sure I don't step on a child), folded laundry (while watching something besides Clifford), emptied the dishwasher (without stopping to referee a fight), and transplanted houseplants (without having to carry two boys on my heads to the bathtub afterwards while trying not to drop dirt on the carpet).

I don't think I realized how often I get interrupted, especially by Mr. High Maintenance, who refuses to do things that he can do by himself, instead only choosing activities that require parental assistance. Or how much energy it takes to just tune them out when they're annoying each other but not getting into a full-fledged fight.

For example, as I typed this entry, here was the conversation in the other part of the room:

A: You have spit on your shirt
B: No I don't.
A: Yes you do.
B: No I don't.

(repeat 20 million times until Ben is yelling)

A: You have spit on your shirt. I can see it.
B: No I don't! My spit is in my mouth!
A: But you have some spit on the back of your shirt.
B: Eat your quesadilla, weave me alone!
A: Ben, why'd you say weave me aloney baby?
B: But weave me alone, you're not weaving me alone! Now weave me alone!
A: But Ben, you don't even know what that means.
B: WEAVE ME ALONE
A: I am, I am!
(thud)
A: Ben just hit me!
Me: Sounds like you deserved it. Leave him alone.
A: I am leaving him alone.
B: No you're not.
A: I am now. (pause, face inches from B's) Duh duh duh.
B: Stop it Aidan! Weave me alone!
A: I am.
B: No you're not. You're still not weaving me alone!
A: Ben, why'd you say you're still not weaving me alone?
B: grrrrr. (this is what he does when he wants to hit but knows he's not supposed to).
(Plate gets knocked down)
B: give me my pia pia back
A: Ben, why'd you say pia pia like a baby?
(giggles all around and next thing I know they're on the floor pretending to be babies).