Monday, November 13, 2006

And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going

There are a lot of digital scrapbook designers. Most sell their stuff on a personal website or an on-line store, and most do some marketing to bring people their website.

There's one, who shall remain nameless and linkless, who doesn't market. In fact, you have to apply for membership even to see her stuff. If you do get in, you have to comment or somehow participate (or buy) every time you visit in order to keep being admitted.

Her stuff is really well done and very unique. So I bought some kits, shared a few layouts, contributed to a few threads on the message board, and praised some layouts. In fact, I tried to only visit the site when I knew I'd have time to comment. People in general were very nice. I really liked her kits, but they were on the pricey side (for a ton of stuff, though, and well done - not overpriced), so I was looking forward to buying some more Christmas stuff when I had a little extra cash.

It now appears I've been thrown out. I can't log in and no one is responding to my e-mails. I think the owner (or her cousin) only respond if they're going to let you back in. If you're out, you're just thrown out into the ether. And it's bugging me no end.

For one thing, I uploaded layouts of my kids on the website. I know, I made that choice, but now I don't even know if they're still there. It annoys me that I can't get to them. In my last e-mail, I asked that if I wasn't allowed back in, that they at least take the layouts down. But I'll never know if they even received my request, BECAUSE NO ONE RESPONDS!!

I think that's what bugs me the most. No response. Nada. That makes me crazy. I admit my reaction is a little over-the-top. I mean, her stuff is good but there are other good designers and I certainly can find other kits I like. It's not like I went there every day, and I was just beginning to know some of the regulars, so I wasn't a fixture or a vital part of the community or anything.

Being shut out, however, of course makes me desperate to get back in. It feels like I'm back in the 4th grade and new student Lori came in and out of the blue told my two best friends, Debbie and Lynn, not to play with me anymore and to play with her instead. They listened to her for a while and then their backbones returned, but that was the longest month of my life. In fact, it seems in my memory to have gone on a lot longer than a month. It may have only been a week, for all I know.

It also reminds me of college, when I went to Hawaii with a friend. Being all co-dependent and stuff back then, I paid for her ticket with the understanding that she would pay me back when we returned. You know where this is going. A few years later, still making promises of repayment, she'd dropped out of our circle of friends, and I was newly laid-off. So I wrote to her at her parents' house and asked her to contact me regarding the money she owed me.


I wrote again. I even said, "Hey, if you can't pay me back right now, just TELL ME." Nothing.

I was incensed. Not so much that she wasn't paying me back, because I knew she probably didn't have an extra $750 laying around to give me. It was being ignored, like I wasn't even worth acknowledging, that drove me crazy. I wrote her a couple more letters, each one a bit more serious, and finally sued her in small claims court. I remember the feeling behind it - it wasn't "You owe me money, babe," it was, "I will NOT be ignored, damnit." (Her mother ended up writing me a check the day before the court date, which made me feel a little bad, but not too much).

So now it appears I've been shut out of this exclusive little club, and I'm mad. They have every right to make their decisions, of course, but am I not worth even an acknowledgment? Not even a, "Sorry, but you didn't come often enough. We've taken down your layouts."

It pushes my buttons. And I know I have to let it go, because really, what's the point? It's a website, for goodness sake. There are bigger, far more important things in my life. So why does it bug me so much?


Anonymous said...

It isnt about the site or the layouts. It's about giving people RESPECT, and YOU AINT GETTING IT! How hard is it to just be respectful? AND email is the easiest way to avoid confrontation these days, and they can't even do THAT for you?

There was an old boyfriend that dumped me with that whole "if I ignore her, maybe she'll go away" mindset. That kind of disrespect is insulting.

We go thru our lives everyday trying to teach our kids to be respectful of others. Obviously THESE people had bad parenting, and didn't get THE MEMO!

Write a final "BITE ME" email and be done. And then have a drink. You get more respect from the woman who bags your groceries at the market. UGH! Sorry hun!

Anonymous said...

Ugh! How passive-aggressive/needy can a person be?!? You just have to know that the owner of this site was probably just like that new girl in school or the "popular" one who was only popular because she told people to like her.

mo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mo said...

well...hmmmm...i can only imagine you are talkin' about my site. it is unfortunate that you felt it necessary to go to blogdom with this...i apologize that i have not gotten back with you. as you know, this is only a hobby for me and besides a little help now and then from my friends and relatives, i take care of the site by myself. i have been sick on and off for the last two weeks and have tried very hard to keep up with things but some things have just not been attended to....seems your emails have been some o' the things i have not been able to get to and i apologize. when i can kick this flu once and for all, i will most certainly get back to you.

yours apologetically,

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