Top o' the Mornin'

Happy St.
Patrick's Day!!

Greg took over our annual all-green dinner tonight since I had to work. Spinach pasta with pesto, shrimp, artichoke hearts and asparagus. No beer, though - ai yi yi. G's obviously not Irish. Don't tell my people that I didn't pull a pint tonight.

The meeting with the mom at school went fine. I was silly to be anxious about it. I'm so glad today is over. Now I've just got my talk to the Parent's Club tomorrow and I'm home free!

Survivor: Lex, Lex, Lex. Yeah, sure, buddy, no hard feelings. He'd better hope the merge is soon because he now has the sorriest tribe ever. Lex, Kathy, Jerri and ShiAnn...yep, lots of challenges to be won there.

American Idol: No surprise - she was awful. I missed the first part because of Survivor. Did they all sing together? I love it when they all sing together. Does this group seem awfully young or is it just me?

Apprentice: So Ereka and Omarosa want talk shows? What on earth have they done to deserve a talk show? The least they could do is pose for Playboy first.

Alias: AAAAARRRRGH!! Here I was all impressed that they were finally showing a shrink with ethics, and the very following week she shows up in Sloan's bed!! You lose your license for that, idiots! No wonder people are threatened by the thought of therapy - they assume we all want to jump in the sack with our clients. Ggggrrrrrr. (Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sure your shrink does in fact want to sleep with you. I'm sure you're his/her favorite client. It's just all these other ones....)

Ah, geez. I forgot to mention that I turned my ankle taking out the garbage tonight and fell. Skinned knees are much worse when you're 38 than they were when you were 8. Took me a full 3 minutes to get back up. Fortunately it was dark and I was alone. Oooh, I just checked and it's bleeding. Moooommmmy!!

Ya know what I hate? Parents. I hate parents. I've gotta meet with Queen of the Bitches on Wednesday morning at St. Martyr's and I just have a feeling she's gonna yell at me because I haven't cured her little princess' insecurity yet. She's insecure because she's the daughter of a Queen Bitch, sweetie. And the worst thing is, I'm all stressed out over this meeting and it's only MONDAY! My assessment period with this 5th grader (who is actually very sweet...too sweet, if you know what I mean) is over and I have to tell the mother my conclusions. This is the same woman who cussed out the school secretary because I'd called her at 9:00pm the night before to cancel an early morning appointment with her because I had strep throat and very possibly SCARLET FEVER!! Excuse me, most people like to know the night before an early morning appt. that it has to be canceled. The principal and the secretary told me "she's just like that." Well, she shouldn't be. She tells me, "You know, this is awfully expensive!" I tell her it's much cheaper than private practice, and she snarls, "I wasn't comparing it to private practice." Well, WTF Are you comparing it to, then? $22.50 per half hour is less than my lowest office fee, darlin'. I don't get paid enough for this crap. This is actually why I stopped working with kids in the first place - the parents make me crazy. And you know what? It might go fine. She was actually OK at the end of our last meeting, so I suppose I shouldn't be freaking out. AND, I've gotta give a talk to the St. Martyr's Parents Club on Thursday night, and genius me forgot to ask if they intended to pay for my time (I'm an independent contractor with them - the parents pay the school for the counseling sessions). What happened to my champagne and sunshine from yesterday, huh?

(Cue New Age Music): This Week's Affirmation: I DO TOO know what I'm doing, damnit.

There is absolutely nothing better than sitting in the Napa Valley sunshine, sipping champagne and watching your husband and son play on the lawn.


Nothing better.

I Think I Put Jesus in the Recycling Bin

In today's mail: "Dear Someone Connected with This Address.....GOD'S HOLY BLESSING IS IN THE ENCLOSED ANOINTED PRAYER RUG WE ARE LOANING YOU TO USE!!!....You, or someone connected with this address, and another dear family are about to be blessed through this unusual, Bible Faith, Church, Prayer Rug (sic), which we are placing in your care for these next 24 important hours. WE FEEL THAT SOMETHING VERY WONDERFUL IS TRYING TO COME TO YOU. Go into a room where you can be alone (just God and you). Turn off the television or radio and try to be by yourself when you kneel on this Holy Ghost, Bible Prayer Rug, or spread it over Your Knees. We want this Church Ministry, Prayer Rug to be touching both of your knees.

...Then in the morning it is a must that you get this unusual blessing Church Prayer Rug out of this house and back to us, here at the church's chapel prayer room, in faith. You must get this Bible Prayer Rug back to us so we can rush it to another family that's in need of blessing. Do this without fail. Please, do not break this flowing of power between us....These next 24 important hours are crucial to you. Timing is important to God...slide it under your side of your bed for tonight. Leave It There No Longer Than Tonight Only! God sees.

...Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug. When you first look you will notice that His eyes are closed. If you relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, you will see His eyes slowly opening and he will begin looking back at you. Jesus sees your needs.

....SAINT MATTHEW'S CHURCH MUST HAVE THIS PRAYER RUG BACK. PLEASE DO NOT MISPLACE IT. IT MUST GO TO ANOTHER HOME AFTER YOU USE IT."

And there's a postage paid envelope, too. I can't figure out their game. There is a small line where you check off your needs ("A New Car....A Closer Walk With Jesus....Confusion in My Home," etc.) that suggests a seed gift to God's work, but nowhere else does it suggest a donation. It also doesn't ask for my name or address. They just want the "rug" back. The Bible Faith Church Prayer Rug is a piece of paper, and it doesn't look like anyone's put both their knees on it, so I don't think I'm getting a used prayer rug. I'm not sure what to do. Part of me just doesn't feel right putting the Holy Spirit Bible Prayer Rug in the recycling bin. And I certainly wouldn't want to break the flowing of power between St. Matthew's and Someone Connected with This Address. What to do, what to do.....

Remember..."Timing is important to God." (OK, God, not that I'm telling you what to do, but it might be about Time to resolve that whole Middle East thing.....)

The Squeaky Weasel Gets the Grease New blog linked by my friend and yours, Drama Queen o' the Links.

I love sarcastic moms.

Men in the Kitchen

G went to add some canned chicken to the dish he was making (his mom's Chinese Chicken Casserole), and looked at the label more closely. He'd bought "Chicken of the Sea," thinking it was canned chicken. Jessica Simpson doesn't need to feel so bad now. So he made Chinese Tuna Casserole instead. (Honestly, it still sucked).

Where Is My Gay Apocalypse? / Over 3,500 gay marriages and, what, no hellfire? I was promised hellfire. And riots. What gives? Drama Queen forwards this missive (which I should have found, given that I do live 20 miles from the City of the Damned). I'm also still waiting for the institution of heterosexual marriage to collapse. I expect my female friends to start asking me to marry them any day now. Or, maybe G will take a few more wives. Hey, am I even still married? As far as I can tell none of my straight friends have cancelled their summer weddings yet, meaning I still have to buy a present. Sigh. Maybe, just maybe, letting people in love marry won't ruin society.

Adventures in Channel Surfing

1. American Idol: I'm so glad the Hobbit won. I was rooting for him just because I think he'll be fun to watch.

2. You can always find "Sister Act" on some channel, somewhere.

3. The Lite Brite behind Larry King and his guests always distracts me. What are they trying to make? The clown? The butterfly? Oooohhhhh, it's the continents! Guess I didn't get that pattern in my kit.

4. Josh Groban was on PBS tonight, singing on the top of a staircase. G says, "I thought he was blind! He's awfully near the edge of those stairs!" He'd gotten him mixed up with Andrea Bocelli and was afraid he was going to fall down the stairs. HAHAHA! Putting a blind opera singer at the top of the stairs! Perfect entertainment.

A few random questions as I sit here frosting my hair: Does anyone actually do the test strand? Why do they put little strings on the frosting cap so you can tie it under your chin? As anyone who's done this knows - once you get those hair strands coming through the little holes, that cap ain't going nowhere. G helped me do the back and said I reminded him of of Baby Face in Toy Story . He also said he's going to have nightmares after this.

Job dilemma: I was offered a 20-hr/wk position at CaPS. It would be $30/hr plus benefits would cost about $14 a month. We currently pay about $500 a month for benefits. If I took it, I would get post-doc hours (which I need if I'm ever going to get the psychologist license - right now I'm working under a MFT license). I would also have a set schedule, low stress, I'd get paid whether clients showed up or not, and I'd still supervise some interns.

However, I also would have to close my private practice. This would mean saying goodbye to some clients with whom I've worked for almost 7 years. I'd lose freedom and autonomy (redundant?), which are very important to me. I would have to take vacation when school is out.

If I didn't take the job and did mainly private practice, I'd lose security and paid benefits, but I'd average $60/hr, I'd have the flexibility to take time off when I choose. I'd make my own hours. I'd work less. I'd have to wait for post-doc hours or just give that up entirely.

When I asked Boss if in the future there'd be a chance to increase my hours and get benefits, I didn't expect him to actually DO it. I mean, this is the public university system in California, for goodness' sake. California, the sunny bankrupt state. The last round of negotiations involved me saying, well, if you can't cover my benefits for the whole year, forget it. They wanted to just pay for benefits during the academic year, when I'd be working, and pay $800/month for them over the summer, when I wouldn't be working. Apparently only full professors get that kind of arrangement. I thought, great, no chance he'll be able to swing that - decision made. Phooey. He came back with a proposal to work 20 hrs/wk all year, including the summer (which is unheard of - to have guaranteed hours over the summer)....and get full benefits. Thanks a lot, bud. On the one hand, it's nice to be wanted, on the other, I'm not looking forward to telling him, "Hey, thanks for all that work you did getting me a position, but no thanks." Yeah, I think I'm leaning toward private practice. I've never made a career decision based on money, but now my priorities are different. We need me to work, but we want to avoid daycare. So I need to make as much money in as little time as possible.

Today is a day for celebration. The Fan has returned! It has been a long, dark winter without the ceiling fan in our breakfast area. A. has loved fans since his eyes could focus, and is now very relieved. Apparently he made an arrangement with God to only come to a house with a ceiling fan, and we weren't living up to our end of the bargain. We got a new one at Expo, and all is right with the world once again.

So I was supposed to meet TL at Lake Merritt today, but she didn't show. It's the second time she's forgotten - should I take it personally? It's also entirely possible that I got the date and time wrong. I'm a space case lately. So A and I went to Fairyland. What a trip. First off, it's overpriced - $6 for everyone, including babies. It's really just a big playground. A's favorite thing was the leprechaun blowing bubbles on top of a large toadstool. Well. I could've done the same thing at home for much cheaper. I'd even sit on a mushroom for him if he wanted.

Then we met up with Papa and went to Bay Street in Emeryville. It's an urban, upscale, outdoors mall that gets very cold when the sun goes down. While waiting for dinner at CPK on the upper level, I saw two couples standing talking, apparently waiting for their table as well. They had 3 little boys between them, one A's age. He was a scaredy-cat, because every time A approached him to say hi, he ran and hid in his mom's legs (who paid absolutely no attention to him - I started to think he wasn't hers). Granted, A's approach involves running, flailing his arms and screeching, but he was just trying to say "Hi - you're as small as me!" The other two were older. The couples were talking at the top of the staircase that goes down to the shops. Now maybe it's just me, and maybe I'm overprotective, but if I had 3 rambunctious boys, I wouldn't park myself at the top of a concrete staircase. Especially when there was a huge unused square space between the stairs and the restaurant that A was having a grand time running around in. One of the little fellas was especially accident prone and didn't have terribly good judgment. After watching the other two boys run headfirst into the wall and then turn crying to their mamas, he did the exact same thing (and ran away crying). I was afraid A was going to do it too after watching them, but he ran to the wall and stopped just short. (He's SO much smarter). Then little boy tried to do some trick on the banister and fell on his head on a step. One of the women yelled at her husband, "GO GET HIM!" and he snarled back, "I'm trying!" but little Blondie was fastened to his leg. So he shook Blondie off and went to pick up Clutzy. They still didn't move from the top of the staircase. I thought it was strange. Especially since people were coming up and going down the staircase.

Went to John Kerry's rally at the Teamsters last week. We were very very lucky - it was a huge crowd in line and a campaign worker came by and pulled all the families with babies and let us in! I'd say about an eighth of the whole crowd got in. The rest were outside fogging up the windows as they tried to see him. WTG, Aidan! I knew we had him for a reason. The bummer, though, was that my digital camera was still fried and I didn't get any photos - we were about 20 people away from him. All I could think about was what a great scrapbook page it would have made for A's 2nd year.

Swim lessons went better this morning. A. complained a little at first, but I found a dolphin that squirts water and that was hecka fun. He had a death grip on me the entire time, although the water barely comes up to his belly if he stands up. Curiously, he enjoys the big pool much better than the little pool. I guess he knows I won't let go of him in the big pool. He actually kicked a little, and got all googly-eyed at our teenage instructor when she complemented him on his form.

My subconscious mind is driven by:


Okay. I'll buy that. I also have a 131 IQ, which seems to have gone down. When I was tested in high school, I distinctly remember testing at 145. Doesn't surprise me. The whole Ph.D. thing made me way stupider.

Test Yourself Here.

Reality Show Update:

The Apprentice: FINALLY!! Geez, Donald, took you long enough. Nothing against Omarosa - in a particular type of setting, she'd do fine. She's smart, but she's not very good with people.

Survivor: Hate to be a cynic, but at first I really thought Sue was thinking, "Hey, no one here's gonna let me win a million dollars; but I can use this as a ticket to some food and a hot shower, and get paid to boot!" After watching her on CBS whatever-that-show-is with Harry Smith, I decided differently. However, I suspect she has some abuse in her past to be so brutalized by Dickie's dick. More Lex this week - yee haw!

Eden: Yawn. A reality show with no end and no one understands what the game is? This is just a reworked Paradise Hotel. Boring young beautiful people, lots to drink, and a green apple. Yippee.

Food update: I'm at my heaviest weight ever (besides the last trimester, and even then I'm a bit too close to that weight for comfort). I think I have to go low carb. I hate to give up my corn flakes and toast, but something's gotta change. My belly is hanging so low it's hard to shave before swim classes. That's just not right. And besides, if we're gonna go for Lil Uechedo #2 this year, I'd like to start off not looking pregnant already.

Aidan can put away groceries. This is a marvelous revelation. All we have to do is leave the groceries outside the front door, and he will take it upon himself ("what, you guys don't know where the canned fruit goes??") to put them away. One at a time, he'll pick a can out of the bag (canned peaches are most important because they're the best), lift it up onto the step, crawl up the step himself, bend down to pick up can with both hands, walk to the cabinet, put the can down, open the cabinet door, bend down to pick the can up, put can on lowest shelf, close door, walk to doorway, hang onto doorjam, lower self to step, start all over again. It's very mindful and Zen-baby of him. I always said he was a Zen baby.

Today at St. Martyr's, every person in the building had ashes on their forehead except me. Yeah, I skipped mass. Sue me. I was kind of afraid the Rapture would happen then and there and Jesus would know who to keep and who to toss by the ash on their forehead, and I'd be out of luck. The priest who did it at this mass also does a really good cross on the forehead, not just a smudge. The big scandal today was that the hot lunch lady planned burgers for today. Couldn't she have planned pizza instead? I bet she would have if she knew the uproar her meat patties were going to cause. I'm giving up chocolate, except that I forgot and had a banana-chocolate energy bar. But I don't think that counts because it's not REAL chocolate. Not like my beloved Nestle Treasures, which I finished last night in preparation for Lent. I'm going to treat myself to those and a bunch of Cadbury Creme Eggs (Yes! My favorite part of Spring!) when Easter's here.

We have entered the terrible twos at 18 months. I've heard that's normal. Aidan has learned the magical word "no." Not just "no," but "nnnooooooooo!" with a whine that suggests I've just told him his father and I are leaving him forever. He also says "yeah!" with such enthusiasm that you'd think we've just told him it's ice cream for dinner from here on out.

What I'm thinking about tonight: What exact threat to marriage and family exists if we allow gay couples to marry? Are the conservatives afraid that straights will suddenly *stop* getting married? And why does the government get to decide that, anyway? If it's a religious issue, then deal with it in church. On Larry King tonight some blonde legislature kept asking Gavin Newsom "What about polygamy? Where does it end?" I suppose we could come back with, "And what about legislating our bookshelves? Are you going to insist we all own and read the King James Version? Where does it end?" Grrrr.

And what's the exact problem with Janet Jackson showing her boob? Why is that soooo much more offensive than the violence of men tackling each other for fun? (FTR, I do like football). I wish people would be as offended by all the commercials targeting our children and all the violence on prime time. I'd much rather Aidan see a boob than see all the gunfighting. Heck, he sees mine all the time (my boob, not my gunfighting). Also, it was pretty obvious to anyone who saw it any of the 10,000 times they showed it that she was surprised afterward and tried to cover up. I believe that that lace thing was supposed to stay on.

:::Off the soapbox::::

Aidan had his first big owie this week. Took a tumble and knocked into the sharp corner of a chair leg. It looked much worse than it does now, honestly. It took 2 hours to see a doctor, and by that time I felt pretty foolish, but I'd already paid my $25 for him to say, "Yep, he's fine." I missed my mom's group dinner, so I sent G out for a bottle of red wine, which I desperately needed by that point.

Bonus:

Reality Show Update:
American Idol tonight! Hope it's better than last week. Update: Yeah - better. Trying to get the rugrat down so I missed the first two. Jon Peter fascinates me, although I don't think he's great. I'd like to see him advance just because he's interesting to watch, sort of like Clay was in the early auditions. Go LaToya - way to represent Oaktown! She was good, but I didn't think she was the best they'd ever seen, so I was a bit surprised by the judges reactions.


Littlest Groom: Good for him for picking the little woman, but really, it was kind of obvious who he had more in common with.


My BFOF: AWESOME finale. I was ready to go live with that family by the end of it (minus Randi). I loved the way the mom just got up and calmly walked out. She didn't even yell at Steve, she just said, "That's fine, Steve, you can tell them." Now there's a mom who doesn't need to yell - but when she's pissed, you know it. I also loved the way the family made the producers beg them to come back. Way to rise above it! Too bad about that money-grubbing middle child, though.

Survivor: Best season ever, though I'm sad to see Rob C go. I think he'd have been at his best after a merge and he never got a chance to do some good scheming. I've heard rumors about who's in the finale and I will be a bit disappointed if it's true. We'll see. Still love "Pretty Boy" Ethan. Also like Lex. Would probably marry Lex if he were single and if I hadn't already gotten my first choice of husband (added that in for G). He guests as a DJ at a local radio station when he's not surviving on a desert island, and he's pretty funny. Beginning to think Rupert might have some delusional system going. Digging down into the sand? Even I know that's a bad idea. Jerri's much more tolerable this time. Jenna's not. Richard's great - loved that he bit the shark back. Oh yeah, and that Tylenol "Push through the Pain" award - great idea. Gotta give it to Goat Farmer Tom this time. Ouch.

Here're the new fishies...Thursday and Friday. Friday's camera shy.

Well, Seattle was fun...what I saw of it, anyway. I got sick with whatever Aidan had on Saturday, so I spent the day in the hotel bed. Fortunately, it was a really nice bed. Thank you to my sister for securing an apartment-size hotel room. Then poor Greg got it on Sunday. I think we all had strep, because the sore throat and fever were the main symptoms. We also had this weird rash, which apparently was scarlet fever. Isn't that what made Mary blind on Little House on the Prarie? "Didja hear about the Lunasea's? They got that scarlet fever over at their house!" We're all fine now.

G and his friend T held a baby shower today for their friend D. T's wife and I helped, but really they planned it all. I'm realizing that's kind of unusual - guys holding a baby shower. G made Betty Clarizio's famous pizza (from his grade school days) and it was quite good even though I usually don't like homemade pizza. It's kind of like homemade chinese food - just not quite as good as takeout. But his was pretty darn good.

A's current words: "TeeVeeeee"; "Pretty": said about anything outside that he likes; "Yeah": a general affirmative answer, as in "Can you say please?" "Yeah." He needs to get his hair cut again, but I'm not sure I'm going to go the homemade route again.

Oooh, could it be? Almost a month since I've updated? Sheesh. That's what a walking toddler'll do for you. He's sick, by the way. He seems to be sick an awful lot for a breastfed kid not in daycare. Poor guy - but he's awfully cuddly today. When he's feeling fine, Papa's the best, but when he 's feeling sick, nothing will do but Mama.

Off to Seattle for the weekend! Yes! Big Sis Robin turns the big 5 - 0, and the girls (Sharon, Erin and me) are surprising her with a trip to Seattle. She's not supposed to know where we were going, and I had this big plan to take her to the wrong gate and let her think we were visiting North Dakota or something. But her silly hubbie let the cat out of the bag. Don't tell him your secrets. I'll have photos up on Webshots when we get back!

So. We are now the proud parents of a full-fledged toddler. He now sees walking as the preferred method of locomotion, and for some reason being upright has instilled in him a new sense of independence. He is the master of his own destiny. Gone are the days when he'd crawl around the family room playing with his toys and occassionally the TV remote. He needs to unplug everything in the house. His sense of style is offended by the candles by the fireplace, so they need to be lined up on the carpet. He's also yelling alot. Not unhappily, just sort of a "I am Toddler, Hear Me Roar" kind of thing. Oh, and his favorite word is "TV." We're so proud.

Yeah! Aidan's walking on his own! He walks like Frankenstein and thinks it's a fun game, but not really a way to get around. But he will take up to about 20 steps on his own, provided we're watching and ready to applaud. I was worried we were going to have to send him to kindergarten with his little push toy, which is the only way he'd walk up until now. He's 15 months today. And, to top things off, he saw Santa, sat on his lap and smiled! OK, he cried at first, but then when I crouched down and said, "I'm gonna come give you kisses!" he grinned as you see. He's a sucker for the kisses. Tonight we went to the Old Spaghetti Factory with sister Robin, her DH Steve, and their kids Kyle and Arianna. I thought Aidan was particularly attached to me lately, but imagine my surprise when I look over and he's giving the same, lick-your-chin/kiss he gives to me to Robin! Hmph! He's just such a little lovebug. Greg was describing my blog to them and said I had a "surly, but in a nice way" tone. Surly? Me? I always imagine a short little "Danny DeVito as Louie in Taxi" kinda guy when I hear surly. Sarcastic, maybe. Sardonic, hopefully. But surly? I'm going to have to start growing out my eyebrows nice and bushy so I can fit the part.

New fishies - Thursday and Friday II. I'll get a photo of them soon but their bowl needs tidying up first. So far so good (i.e. still alive). We went to AZ for Thanksgiving with my family. It was surprisingly cold, but my dad had turned the heater on the pool so high that it was like bathwater. Really warm. Aidan loved it. He cracked up when people would blow bubbles in the water, then he'd stick his face in like he was going to try it, too. But he ended up drinking the water, which I don't think tasted very good, given that it's a salt water pool. I also got a pedicure at Elizabeth Arden that still looks good! Too bad it's winter and I can't show it off. Met some on-line friends from my Aug 03 playgroup, and that's always fun. Aidan was sick, and then Greg and I got it too. I think we left it with most of my family, unfortunately. All of us are now on the upswing, fortunately. Photos from Thanksgiving are on my webshots site.